i just made one of my deepest dreams come true. today, i made it pass the finish line of vancouver marathon in 3 hours 52 minutes and 28 seconds, thereby also accomplishing my goal of going below 4 hours... :-) there is no words to describe my feelings of joy and accomplishment, but still i will try to share some impressions from the race course.i woke up early today - around 5.00 am - to make sure i will not stress through the morning preparation. i made myself banana milkshake and some strong green tea, drew a "one inch at a time" tattoo on my left forearm (to know where it comes from click here), packed up and went down to commercial drive to catch the bus number 20 (nothing else was running at that time!).
when i arrived at the expo village near the gm place the 6h+ marathoners were already on the course and the half marathoners were gearing up. the atmosphere in the event village was very exciting and somewhat elevated. i think that the runners sensed they were about to experience something unforgettable. i certainly sensed that. i was simply happy to be there, but i felt no butterflies in the stomach until the starting gunshot.
i checked my gear in, grabbed a free coffee (provided by mcdonalds.. :-/) and wandered around. despite the cold and rainy day i decided to run only in short-sleeve t-shirt and shorts, which was a good choice. it was cool, but not too cool for that.
for the start i decided to move up as close to the starting line as possible to minimize the gunshot and net time mismatch (the gunshot is the official time, the net time is the actual time...). i moved up close enough to get it down to 40 seconds which was good enough.
when the race started at 7.30 my heart was pounding really fast. i was cheering with everybody else the start of my very first marathon. still, i couldn't believe the way i have walked (run, actually)in order to be in that place, in that moment. to stand there at the starting line of the marathon with my chin up, strong and confident...
the race started strong for me, i was full of energy, determined to give away every gram of glycogen stored in my muscles to achieve the best time possible. for the first 5K i was in between two "pace bunnies" (runners employed by the running room, who were supposed to run a certain pace to give people a reference point), one aiming to finish at 3:40, another one at 3:45. then the bunnies started walking, but i kept going steadily and overtook the 3:40 bunny. at 10k i was at 52:26, which was giving me a projected finish time of 3:36 had i kept up that pace. i felt good, i chatted to some other runners briefly, still amazed at what i was doing (i was running a marathon!!)
at around 12th kilometer, when we were exiting chinatown and running onto the expo boulvard, my energy was boosted again, cause my roommates where standing at the corner of pender and beatty, cheering for me. i was still ahead of 3:40 bunny and i wanted to keep it this way.
when we were running through gastown, the rain was literally washing us away, but an enthusiastically cheering crowd made me keep up the pace. 14th km was around there, which is roughly 1/3 of the way. i still felt strong, but already felt little soreness in my hamstrings. needless to say, i kept going though.
right before we enetered the stanley park, a huge group of runners led by the 3:40 bunny catched up with me. i stuck with them for a little while marking a half-way point with 1 hour and 51 minutes. they were too fast for me on the uphill after the turnover in the park and this is when i gave up the 3:40 pace and never really got back to it again. running in between the 3:40 and 3:45 bunny was in my mind now - it was much more pleasant and less crowdy.
at around 26th km i had a first mental breakdown, thinking it starts hurting, i don't think i will make it below 4. then i came up with two mantras i kept repeating in my head; one was written on my arm - one inch at a time, a quote from "any given sunday". another one was what i used during the karate tournaments - "you're strong, you're light, you're having fun". and i kept going.
i mean, i know from reading studies on positive self-talk, that talking to oneself during an event has showed very beneficial. but i never really experienced it on my own but to that extent. positive words said to myself worked, even if i knew they were not true (i.e., i was getting weaker, my legs were getting heavier and passed 28 km mark it certainly wasn't as much fun any more). same with other people screaming at me and other runners: "looking good!!", when in fact i was sure it was not true. depleted of much eneregy, i was struggling for life. i couldn't look any good! but it helped. it helped a lot - me talking to myself, and people screaming at me.
on the burrard bridge i passed a runner whose t-shirt said; "my name is benoit. today is my 60th birthday. this is my 49th marathon". i said: "happy birthday benoit. and respect!" and went on.
passing the 31st km mark was the toughest, cause i had never covered more distance in one go before. it's like crossing into the unknown. i think i was starting to hit a wall. the 3:45 bunny group caught up. i tried to keep up with them for a while, but i just couldn't. i let them go and from that point, instead of following any bunny, i was running away from the 4:00 bunny. that also kept me motivated. afterall, when running away more energy is mobilized, no?
"you're strong, you're fast, you're having fun" - i kept lying to myself. at each water station i would chunk a gatorade, some water and throw water all over my head, to imitate a feeling of freshness. passed 33rd km it was just really painful, but inch after inch, step after step i went on, regardless of the pain. i was amazed at my capacity to endure. i ate some gumibears handed out by the volunteers, high-fived a huge blue bmo bear-like mascot and had a little bit more of energy for another kilometer or so.
at 35th kilometer i knew i was going to make it, only to change my mind at 36th. i think this is when i had the most serious doubts. my body was strained.. but then, amid all the pain and stuggle, a banner held by one of the fans made me laugh inside so hard that i suddenly got some more enregy to cover the distance. it said: "in my mind you're all kenyans". :-)
i told myself (see how much internal dialogue was involved during the race!?): "make it back to the burrard bridge and you'll be fine". on the bridge there was the 40th km mark. then my legs said: "no, we don't think we can go a step further". then, completely pissed off i replied: "oh yes, you can". and i made it to thr burrard bridge, full of crowds and photographers. being under social pressure i just needed to keep going and it was only 2 kilometers and 195 meters to go and with each second less and less.
at one of the intersections, i think it was davie at pacific boulvard, the lights turned red right before i was to run through. the traffic was directed by a policeman. i shouted at him: "sorry, but i am not intending to stop!!" he smiled at me and couple of people in the crowd bursted out laughing. i was convinced i was going to make it.
with one mile to go (1.6 km), i increased the pace. when i finally saw the finish line i was so extatic.. suddenly very strong emotions came up to my chest and tears came down my cheeks. it was more and more intense.. when i crossed the finish line and heard the "beep!" of my timing chip and became fully aware that i made it, i just bursted out crying. i got my medal, some water and a piece of plastic to cover up. i tried to control my tears for the picture time (btw, taken by a polish photographer from poznań, who recognized i was polish by reading into my name), but i am not sure how well did i do. when the show was over i sat on the kerb and cried for a good couple of minutes. i have never cried so genuinly in my entire life. i was panting and the tears just kept coming. now, i don't know what kind of tears were they - tears of joy or tears of pain. i suspect it's a mix of the two. in any event, at that very intense moment, it struck me that nothing else was impossible. perhaps i was crying for that realization too?
what a day it was, what a race!! i am so proud of myself. it was the most important exam of this semester. now, i can say with full confidence that i passed it and passed it well.
thank you everybody for your support and crossed fingers. believe it or not, but i could really feel it on the course!!
