Tuesday, April 27, 2010

exams, games, exams, games, exams!!!

the level of my current psychological stress is definitely not proportionate to the level of my physical stress, despite strenuous marathon training regime.

i already wrote three exams, in mass communications, biological psychology and health sciences. now, i am impatiently waiting for the results, while trying to maintain my motivation to study for the very last one - in kinesiology - tomorrow. it is especially hard to focus in the midst of nhl play-off in which the local team (canucks) is doing very well, taking down la kings 4-2 in the first round. montreal team, supported by my roommate from quebec, is doing pretty good too. of course, it's better to watch a game (even hockey!) than study. ok, while watching i sometimes have my notes on my lap, but rarely take my gaze off the screen. furthermore, there will be second legs of champions league today and tomorrow (yes, i wish for lyon - barcelona final!). lastly, but perhaps most importantly, in this very moment piast gliwice is playing a fantastic game against the current polish champions - wisla krakow.

seriously. how am i supposed to stay focused, and not fidget and not check live-score ALL the time now?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

exam superstitions

yes, yes, we all have them, no matter how rational we claim to be. below, i provide a list of mine, right in the middle of my examination session with two exams to go. :-)

- not shaving since the last day of class (kind of gorss, but whatever. perhaps this will turn into a playoff beard, but i doubt it),

- not cutting hair for the last month of semester,

(it's all in the hair, innit? hair is where memories are created, it's not hippocampus!)

- sleeping with a book under my pillow the night before the exam (usually hurts, but has been successful so far..),

- barely ever leaving before the last minute of the exam, no matter how easy or how hard the exam is and no matter whether i am done early or not (proof reading 4 times is better than 3),

- not studying on the day of the exam (that's actually confirmed by much of educational and psychological research),

- taking a long walk before the exam, breathing in, breathing out.. :-)

what are your superstitions and pre-exam rituals?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

all the things that can go wrong

studying anything related to health makes you know too much of what can go wrong with you and how easily that may happen. it makes you realize how incredibly fragile our bodies and minds are. indeed, studying disorders is disturbing and worrying. it makes me paranoid. i often catch myself thinking: "what if THIS will happen to me?" and then, almost immediately, i see all the symptomps associated with the very disorder i am reading about, no matter how improbable they are. below, i am listing some of the possible disturbances your body may go through i have read about recently... i am studying this stuff for thursday's exam, so i thought: "wtf, why not share some of this?" just for the sake of underlying the contrast, to make us appreciate our healthy conditions a little bit more.

sensorineural deafness: a type of hearing loss in which the root cause lies in the vestibulocochlear nerve (cranial nerve VIII), the inner ear, or central processing centers of the brain.

muscular dystrophy: a group of hereditary muscle diseases that weaken the muscles that move the human body. muscular dystrophies are characterized by progressive skeletal muscle weakness, defects in muscle proteins, and the death of muscle cells and tissue.

myasthenia gravis: an autoimmune neuromuscular disease leading to fluctuating muscle weakness and fatiguability. it is an autoimmune disorder, in which weakness is caused by circulating antibodies that block acetylcholine receptors at the post-synaptic neuromuscular junction, inhibiting the stimulative effect of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine.

brown-sequard syndrome: a loss of sensation and motor function (paralysis and ataxia) that is caused by the lateral hemisection (cutting) of the spinal cord. thus, one side of your body is paralyzed and the other insensate [terrible!].

apraxia: a disorder caused by damage to specific areas of the cerebrum , characterized by loss of the ability to execute or carry out learned purposeful movements, despite having the desire and the physical ability to perform the movements. have you seen "kill bill"? "wiggle the toe!!"

ataxia: a neurological sign and symptom consisting of gross lack of coordination of muscle movements. ataxia is a non-specific clinical manifestation implying dysfunction of parts of the nervous system that coordinate movement, such as the cerebellum.

scotoma: an area of partial alteration in one's field of vision consisting in a partially diminished or entirely degenerated visual acuity which is surrounded by a field of normal - or relatively well-preserved - vision.

achromatopsia: typically refers to an autosomal recessive congenital color vision disorder, the inability to perceive color AND to achieve satisfactory visual acuity at high light levels (typically exterior daylight). imagine that there are painters who have this!!

narcolepsy: a chronic sleep disorder, or dyssomnia, characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness in which a person experiences extreme fatigue and possibly falls asleep at inappropriate times, such as while at work or at school (doesn't this apply to most of us?? :-D). narcoleptics usually experience disturbed nocturnal sleep and an abnormal daytime sleep pattern, which is often confused with insomnia. when a narcoleptic falls asleep they generally experience the REM stage of sleep within 10 minutes; whereas most people do not experience REM sleep until after 30 minutes. most people with narcolepsy tend to have a shorter life span due to the lack of energy.

cataplexy: loss of muscle tone, often triggered by a strong emotional reaction.

somnabulism: basically sleep walking; more common in children. i think i used to had that.

sleep apnea: a disorder that involves slowing or cessation of respiration during sleep, which usually wakens the person. may lead to death. (in infants it's called "sudden infant death syndrome" and occurs when an apparently healthy infant suddenly dies by simply stopping to breath during sleep. fucked up.).

turner's syndrome: encompasses several conditions, of which monosomy x (absence of an entire sex chromosome) is most common. it is a chromosomal abnormality in which all or part of one of the sex chromosomes is absent (unaffected humans have 46 chromosomes, of which two are sex chromosomes). typical females have two x chromosomes, but in turner's syndrome, one of those sex chromosomes is missing or has other abnormalities. apparently these individuals are often very skilled at learning languages.

congenital adrenal hyperplasia: refers to any of several autosomal recessive diseases resulting from mutations of genes for enzymes mediating the biochemical steps of production of cortisol from cholesterol by the adrenal glands (steroidogenesis).

androgen insensitivity syndrome: xy individuals (that is males) who are insensitive to their own testosterone and therefore don't develop male sex organs externally. they develop clitoris and look like most women, but they inside they still have testes (!!). because of insensitivity to testosterone these individuals are usually sexually interested in men and they often happily marry. theoretically though it is a same-sex marriage. doesn't it bring the debate over homosexual marriages to another level??

brr.. many of these names make you sick enough... nonetheless, currently, i am most proned to get the following one:

hypochondriasis: often referred to as health phobia or health anxiety. it is an excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious illness [wiki]. :-)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

my brain

brain is such a fucking remarkable organ, no doubts about it. it does everything, from remembering where you put your car keys, through helping your foot score a goal in a football match, to more complex stuff like creating gods. it is such so mind-boggling to study brain, its structure and function. well, i guess that is one of the reasons why i am a psychology major, innit?

recently, i discovered i had a brain too! i can prove it, just scroll down and check out the images of my brain taken in a ubc hospital's mri lab. i participated in an extremely cool brain research at ubc, in which i was a healthy control for patients with psychosis and schizophrenia (hey, at least that's what they told me!). they did a whole bunch of testing on me (in total approximately 8 hours spread over two days), including hearing and vision tests, memory and spatial task tests, iq-type of tests etc. part of the research was mri scanning which i was especially excited about. i never had a picture of my brain taken in one of those long, freaky tubes. it was so exciting!! at the end the mri technician just gave me a dvd with pictures of my own brain to take home. when i looked at them i thought: "that's just like in biological psychology textbooks.." :-P i mean, seriously, have a look for yourself:



dorsal view (from the top), nice mapping of the cortex, responsible for most human higher functioning. check out all the beautiful gyri (bumps, highlighted in white) and sulci (the valleys)..! this is where all my thoughts and ideas are hiding..!



horizontal view (head cut in half, along the horizontal plane). white matter with all the myelinated axons improving the neural connectivity and gray matter.. also the ventricles are kind of visible in this one.



coronal view (head cut in half along the vertical plane). can you find corpus callosum? this is the brain's organella connecting both hemispheres.. apparently cc is much thicker in female brains, which is one possible explanationation for why women are so much better at mutlitasking..



mid-saggital (dividing two hemispheres in halves), you can clearly locate the limbic system, responsible for emotional regulation on this picture. also you can see midbrain and hindbrain structures (reticular formation, pons, medulla and cerebellum), which are evolutionarily much older than forebrain's cortex. this kind of dissection of the brain is most commonly used, because you can identify quite a lot. i am sure you have seen something similar before.



lateral view (from "outside").

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

done with classes

first course (psych 300) is completed! (the worst one of my entire academic career). but it is not a time and place for me criticizing it. the final draft of the paper was handed in this afternoon, now the sun is shining over the burnaby mountain... and the classes for this semester are over! what's left? four exams. not even two weeks and i will be freed from the toughest semester i have taken pursuing my degree..! final stretch now, those last 195 meters of a marathon race. i am motivated and focused. it will be a strong finish.

Monday, April 12, 2010

the death of the president

as probably the whole world knows by now, the polish president is dead. on april 10th 2010 at around 11.00am local time, a tupolew tu-154m lux plane crashed close to smolensk airport in russia. polish president (lech kaczynski), his wife and major political, economic, military, spiritual and intelectual leaders died in the crash. some 90 people in total. no survivors. a brutal blow for the administration of the polish state. newspapers all over the world (including "the vancouver sun") have reported the tragedy on the front pages. polish media talk about nothing else. without a doubt, poland has been paralyzed. all the sport and entertainment events have been cancelled for this week. in a deep shock, the polish people mourn and pray.

on the day of the crash, i was asleep on the opposite side of the world and my mom woke me up in the middle of the night with a grief phonecall. she told me what had happened. she started to recite the surnames of the people who died in the crash. the list went on... very influential people i have known from tv since i was a kid.

here in vancouver the polish community mourned the death of the president as well. at st. casimir's catholic church a framed picture of mr. kaczynski was exposed surrounded by flowers and candles. "polonia sasuage house" on east hastings, close to where i live, put out the polish flag with a black ribbon, giving me goosebumps as i waited for the bus.

friends of mine kept coming up to me saying they'd heard what happened and that they were sorry. in a way, i am sorry too. but my feelings have been mixed and not so clear-cut like everybody else's back in poland. as much as i acknowledge the great tragedy which has just touched my country, there's certain aspects of it i particularly despise.

first of all, i dislike idealizing the figure of the president. again, as much as i feel sorry for what happened, especially for his family, i still think he was just a bad, conservative and xenophobic president, who halted the development of poland and the entire eu. to me, his death does not make him any better president. for many polish people it does. death makes mr. kaczynski immune to all criticism marking him as a martyr and a true patriot who died on a mission. it's not allowed to crticize somebody like that. if stephan harper died in an accident and you opposed his policies, would you praise his office as a prime minister?

second of all, it is not really the death of the president, which will affect poland politically and economically in the years to come. it is the other passangers of the tu-154m lux whom i consider irreplecable. most notably, the president of the polish central bank, commanders-in-chief of the navy and airforce, opposition members of the parliament, influential female senators...

third of all, i cannot stand how polish media keep reemphasizing the 19th century literary theme that poland is the "christ of all nations" and that we have benevolently suffered throughout history: "look how poor are we", "it has happened to us again". it may be true to some extent, but ask somebody from kurdistan, palestine or chechnya what 'unfortunate history' and suffering of a nation means...

lastly, as a young polish person who has traveled the world and lived in several different countries, i would like to see my nation strong and united not only during the mourning times after such terrible events, but also in everyday, busy life. this is something that we colectively need to work on.

now with all my sorrow and anger, i do connect with the souls of the people who died tragically in smolensk last weekend. at the same time, i hope that in the future poland will be able to restore its tragically lost intelectual capital.

Monday, April 05, 2010

easter

this easter was going to be awesome. we were supposed to go canoeing up the indian arm with jesse, camp in the forest and bake marshmallows over the campfire like in winnie the pooh. unfortunately, everything went wrong. the weather in vancouver was so terribly windy, rainy and stormy that canoeing didn't work out. jesse went backcountry skiing, isabell and henrieke made a trip to chilliwack, talia returned home to montreal, and hanne-sophie.. i have no idea where did she go, but i think she wasn't around for easter either. so pretty much it started off pretty lonely. i hanged out with adam in waves cafe on friday and saturday, but also spent some serious time on my own, confronting some assignments, readings and my deepest thoughts. these couple of days were a good refugee from the speedy pace i am rushing through this semester.

also my easter holiday was saved by marcin and kasia, polish friends of mine i have already mentioned at some point while writing this blog. i bumped into marcin, literally couple of days before the easter break and on easter sunday i was cordially invited for a proper polish easter brunch! nothing makes one as nostalgic about their countries like the scents of the foods they used to eat as a kid (the reason why memories are activated by smell so easily is because olfactory bulb is located in the brain extremely close to hippocampus, but let's not get into details :-P). and there was food! what a feast kasia prepared! we started off with sharing an egg (a polish tradition which starts the easter meal), and then the white borsch soup with eggs and sausage came on the table. by the time i finished i was already full, but i knew we wouldn't stop eating just yet. there was an entire plater full of finest hams, beets, stuffed eggs, polish mayonnaise, easter salad, horseradish spread and meat and veggie in jelly (polish speciality, but i am not particularly fond of it). we ate, and we talked and we ate more. the whole feast lasted like 3 or 4 hours, but it felt so good to speak polish both in a linguistic and culinary sense. ;-) then we ate four kinds of cakes and i couldn't move anymore. :-D

today we had another easter celebration, this time with my roommates, cos everyone returned today. yes, we went for sushi.. :-)

so at the very end it was quite a good easter, i must say...

Saturday, April 03, 2010

some random words which have been present a lot these days

-- green tea -- brain -- easter -- canucks -- waves coffee -- sushi -- rainy -- tired -- exhausted -- run -- snooze -- toilet paper -- peppermint tea -- strawberries -- deadline -- deadlines -- argh! -- busy -- football -- actually soccer -- exams -- evs -- how's it goin' -- good good -- all right -- i gotta go -- i wish i could stay -- circadian rythyms -- depravation -- gym -- hungry -- $$ -- hastings -- thank you -- sure -- placebo -- works? -- ah... -- mail -- bollocks -- cereal -- kurwa -- :-) --

Thursday, April 01, 2010

undergraduate semester in dialogue

couple of weeks ago i got accepted for the summer edition of undergraduate semester in dialogue at sfu - a very reknown program under the faculty of communication. in my opinion it is just a perfect note to finish my sfu adventure and tap that ba in psychology and communication with a style.

what is it all about? here's some insight from this website:

"the undergraduate semester in dialogue addresses what we believe is the principal challenge for contemporary education: to inspire students with a sense of civic responsibility, encourage their passion to improve canadian society, and develop innovative intellectual tools for effective problem solving. each semester we develop an original and intensive learning experience that uses dialogue to focus student education on public issues."

the summer semester's theme is being about action: experiments in lifestyle activism, something that perfectly suits my interests and personality. :-) notably, the semester starts with a field trip to some kind of sustainable farm on the sunshine coast, just in order to get to know the group - both participants and profs. i don't see how this experience can go wrong. i simply can't wait!

when i first entered the unviersity i thought all the courses would be structured like this one: practical, interactive, engaging etc. not like these dull psych papers i have in front of me as i am writing this post ("the meanings and measurments of clinical significance", "power to detect differences between alternative treatments in comparative psychotherapy outcome research" and "arbitrary metrics: implications for identifying evidence-based treatments", truly none of them recommended unless you're genuinly into psych methodology... in which case i'd probably consider you... well, nevermind. :P). i just want to do stuff, i am sick of sitting down in front of a laptop and typing in papers or reading books and making notes. fortunately this semester will last no longer than 28 days! no more complaining and back to psych methodologies...!