good times, part II

good times...

grading

yesterday i passed 8th kyu.

kilka słów po polsku

nie będzie w tym stwierdzeniu zbyt dużo skromności, ale wydaje mi się że można by można o moich perypetiach książkę napisać. i to całkiem niezłą. jednak im bardziej próbuję się skupić na zebraniu mojego dotychczasowego życia do kupy, tym bardziej wydaje mi się to niemożliwe. myślę, że sam ciągle nie zdaje sobie sprawy z tego w jakie niesamowite strony zabrały mnie moja głowa i moje nogi.

gdyby ktoś mi powiedział dwadzieścia lat temu, że w kwietniu 2007 roku będę kończył pierwszy rok psychologii na uniwersytecie simona frasera w burnaby… ach, szkoda gadać. z pewnością bym nie uwierzył! a jednak te niesamowitości się dzieją, na skale wielkie i malutkie. zmieniamy ten nasz świat z każdą sekundą. nie mówię, że zawsze i koniecznie zmieniamy go najlepsze, ale że po prostu go zmieniamy. i co najważniejsze, to co zobaczymy jutro to wcale nie jest wynik dodania dzisiaj i wczoraj. to będzie zupełnie odmienny twór, zupełnie inny świat.

skończyły mi się wreszcie zajęcia, więc mogłem napisać na blogu te dwa króciutkie akapity. a tak, żeby zademonstrować, iż moja polska ortografia cały czas ma się dobrze…

22 kwietnia wylatuję z powrotem do polski. lecę przez frankfurt i prawdopodobnie wyląduję w Katowicach 23 kwietnia wieczorem. postaram się poodwiedzać wszystkich przed norweską ekspedycją która się szykuje na 26… ach, lato! jak ja długo na ciebie czekałem!

hello universe! goodbye universe!

"hello. goodbye. hello. goodbye." this is how billy pilgrim (was that his name?) used to greet people and this is how i greet you today. for life is an incredible and neverending chain of beginnings and endings, isn't it?

my second semester is almost over, and it's time to dream about the summer and how wonderful it will be (unless we blow ourselves up before i get a chance to taste, but this is a different, longer story)... being back in the paradise of lpc, travelling here and there, and there again. saying hello, goodbye, and hello again. embracing this wholeness of beginnings and endings.

for now, though, i shall better go and finish this essay for latin american history on a guy called hugo chavez. anyone has heard about him? ;-)

polska - azerbejdżan

shall i say more? ;-)

st. patrick's day celebration

writing a psychology essay. playing squash. taking a shower. eating a kiwi. drinking sake in kadoya restaurant on davie street. eating fantastic sushi in kadoya restaurant. walking in the rain downtown. walking in the rain on the english bay beach. touching the ocean. eating the biggest piece of cheesecake ever. taking a skytrain. buying stuff for bbq. buying irish beer and some local wine. drying socks. chillin' at viola's place. bbqing. eating good food. dancing. drinking. singing. dancing. drinking. drinking. drinking. drinking. green vodka shots (the girls went really crazy with the green food color... everything was gree - beer, wine, cake...). going back to campus. sobering... ;-)

one month to go

in a month i am finished with classes. exactly in a month. until then i shall remained focused but relaxed. i shall not forget how to breath and smile until that time. i shall not.
then i have easter, exams and i am back in europe. sweet, old, beautiful europe. i miss you.

hastings at main

have you ever bothered to come to vancouver? have you ever wished you lived in vancouver? according to the ranking of famous magazines x and y you should have had such cravings. apparently it is the best city to live in on this planet. low crime rate, nice (never mind that sometimes superficial) people, green neighborhoods, organic restaurants and markets plus all the multicultural (well, mostly asian) components. oh, and it organizes winter olympics in 2010! wicked, no?

there is a place in vancouver, however, to spoil everything. EVERYTHING. there’s a place where capitalism shows its real (?), evil (?) face. hastings at main. there are myths about that intersection all around canada. people actually tremble when they hear "hastings at main". they tremble and change the topic of the conversation. vancouverites know what i am talking about.

hastings at main is the intersection of two quite important streets in the town. main street constitutes the heart of chinatown (second biggest in north america), while hastings street goes along the coast leading from downtown all the way up to burnaby mtn. and sfu (btw, i wonder how many pedestrians know what is meant by ‘hastings’… forgive the irony).

anyhow. intersection of hastings and main is the intersection where you don’t wanna go at night alone. it’s full of losers, talking in economic terms which apply to this country. it’s full of bums who eat and sleep on the street. it’s full of prostitutes and drug addicts. the rates of hiv and aids are highest per square meter in north america. generally speaking it’s very filthy and very, very depressing.

thought-provoking, too.

every time my bus pass along the hastings streets i take a look at these people. i wonder then who is to blame for their situation – themselves or the system they have been born into and against which they have lost. was it freedom that led them to degradation? surely, we could blame them: they live in canada, the country full of opportunities. their fault, let them have what they deserve!

but wait a second. is it really? the ideology of capitalism standing behind world’s economy and the idea of globalization will always leave the winners and the losers. we can observe on local and global scale; e.g. the us of a imposing free trade agreements on latin american countries or the bums on hastings. they have to be there, so other people can sleep at sheraton hotel.

but it is not injustice that pains me. well, that too, obviously, but it is the bc government action. as the olympics 2010 are approaching, they have to do something to the problem of hastings at main. godammit, it's almost the very center of downtown! "what will sportsmen, buisinessmen, and visitors from around the world think about our city when they bump into hastings at main!?"

good job, provincial government! you spotted a problem bothering your biggest city. now, what to do? what to do? let's displace them! that's right. they are displacing them, moving from downtown as far as possible. slowly, but steadily through buying the estates and "cleaning the street". bravo. but no banana.

apathy is one thing and this is what had been shown towards the bums so far. but now it is a reverse action! instead of real help they recieve a ticket to surrey. how narrow-minded can you be that this is not going to resolve a knot of hastings at main!? it's just going to shift it, and probably make it even bigger.

ps. you can't see hastings at main from the suburbs. you can't read about hastings at main in the media. you don't want to.

psychology midterm

i can't believe how stupidly they test in this university.

i am alive. thank you.

i am alive, well and busy, but positive. i have a lot of good energy now, things to live into and things to look forward to. my existence makes just perfect sense. the world is still filled with magic despite all the frightening facts about our species in psychology lectures. you can smell spring in the air, too. smell of a new beginning and thousands of people to meet, million of possibile paths to choose. it's all so fucking fantastic, or isn't it?

so, yes i am all right, if you asked "how's it going?" but if you wanna know more, i am alive as never before. thank you for interest...

pictures (birthday and scholarship ceremony)

dropping economics and feeling relief

since the very first lecture i didnt like microeconomics. the professor was really, i mean really, boring, the class was full of blind-followers and above all there were some serious clashes between the philosophy (or rather lack of it) of rightwing microeconomics and mine own.

so i have been struggling within myself: drop it or not? a part of myself was telling me i'd be a coward if i dropped it. another part responded i'd be a cowards if i didn't. and this internal discussion (yes, i have a lot of them) went on for a month... until i realized that class drop deadline is tommorow.

so i dropped the bloody microeconomics.

i feel relieved. i feel light. i feel good.

in memory of daniel alshen

http://rememberingdaniel.blogspot.com/

wiersz/a poem

ciekawość

i niech moje płuca stracą wszelką koncesję na tlen
kiedy w głowie zostanie mi
tylko przerażająca myśl:
że jedyne co wiem to to że nie chcę już wiedzieć

---

curiosity

and let my lungs lose all the oxygen concession
whenever my mind is left
with the following frighting thought:
that the only thing i know is that i don't wanna know any more

20.

eh. is that number cheerful or depressive? cheerful, i'd rather say. it's sunny outside and the air is very fresh. i can think of only one tune for today anyways:

"Ja mam dwadzieścia lat, ty masz dwadzieścia lat,
Przed nami siódme niebo!
Dziś nie potrzeba więcej nam do szczęścia chyba już nic...

the response(s)

wow. i must say that i am truly amazed by the power and influence of media.

yes, i always knew it existed; i had read about it, i had seen many documentaries with noam chomsky and gore vidal etc. however (and those who know me are quite aware of this), i am quite an empirical bastard and i never fully believe until i try myself.

publishing an article in vancouver sun was a discovery of what sort of storm can such a small feature cause both on my blog and in my mailbox. i have got emails from my zero-years in flekke (apparently someone printed the article and put it up on the noticeboard!), couple of polish students at sfu, rotary club in burnaby, piotr lutynski (with congratulations), a girl who wishes to get into uwc and so on...

this incredible discovery can be only compared with my complete astonishment at the mechanism of the tides on the fjord in flekke. before coming to norway there was just pure tidal theory. there was my physical geography teacher talking about the tide and the moon and where they interact... but it never occured to me that within a day fjord can back up 10-20 meters!

anyhow. time to go to class. have a good day. :-)

snowshoeing at holyburn mt.

this was in the beginning of january, but only now i have gotten the pictures from alban. enjoy.

(another) publication

hey! yet another newspaper has published me! this time it was vancouver sun and their saturday's supplement "travel". i told them a uwc story (what else could have i told them, anyway?). click to enlarge.

besides, it's still snowing outside. even the oldest vancouverites don't remember such harsh winter for the city...

cover:

and the feature:

lpc, here i come

"let me come back to the paradise again and again" i wrote when i was sixteen in the letter full of gratitude to lpc (luethi-peterson camps), a swiss foundation which organizes international summer camps.

you can't even measure the importance of lpc in my life. yes, it was a definite turning point for me: first, it opened the gates of the world (in rcn, i argued that without the lpc experience there would be no uwc for me), second, it moved my thoughts about needs, live and so on slightly to the left (they are somewhere there since), but primarily lpc saved my life. and only now i am not afraid to speak about it frankly. it did save my life.

anyhow. i am going back to the most idealistic world i have ever tasted... (if you think uwc was idealistic, you're wrong.) i am going to hegnes (ironically, it's a 2 hour hike from flekke, hahahah!). it's an awesome campsite. it's right by the fjordshore. no running water, the house (plus the barn) is falling apart (actually, i reckon that the barn is in better condition...) spartan, simple living, really. lpc. eh.

at least now i have something to look forward to. here i come.

ps. all the nordics, i think of having a little tour de scandinavia before the camp starts, so whoever's home during the summer and wants a distinguished visitor from poland, let me know ;-)

o śmierci saddama (polityka)

zaraz po wykonaniu egzekucji na saddamie husajnie napisałem trzy stronicowy artykuł potępiający wyrok. wysłałem go do wszystkich przeglądów, newsweeków, wprostów etc. i chyba tylko polityka wydrukowała kawałeczek w "listach". nic to. i tak jestem dumny... (kliknij aby powiększyć)

from "stories of happy people" by gustafsson

"... and perhaps it isn't so important that everything should be important ... wasn't it true that all the power in the world was based on the same big lie: that the meaning of our lives is located outside of ourselves? ... why do we need the enigmatic in people to love them? ... the monster would rather die than give up his gold. rather die than show himself ... 'what does a lake turned into a bog reflect?' 'itself?' 'or a different sky' ... this leave-taking was, in spite of the continous fever of the wound, the most beautiful he experienced. so light and cheerful, and at the same time so serious and deep that he could still reacall its breathing. it was a vehement reminder that life is easy, that it consists of the purest lust, and that it only exists for those who are able to dance and to laugh."

go canucks go

vancouver canucks is a local hockey team. everyone in the city goes crazy about them (it is fucking well publicized too, but this is a different story). especially that now they havent lost in 6 games.

imagine that yesterday i went to a hockey game. canucks were playing a team called florida phanthers. i went with adam. you know, just to get the real canadian experience. it is not even plausible without hockey.

so before the game started he had to explain all the rules to me for obviously i was completely yellow. polish hockey players are employed in nhl only to fight on the ice, so this was basically the idea i had about hockey.

but the game is not (only) about bumbing into the other players. in order to win the team has to score a goal as well.

it was supposed to be an easy game for the canucks, but they won only after shoot-outs.

ps. i was really impressed by the goalie's job in hockey.

confronting the pace of reality again

i am really tired of the questions: "how was your break? what did you do?" etc. i simply chilled. it is the activity i havent really enjoyed properly since the summer ended. i could be completely careless and spontaneous. i could do whatever i wanted. there were no duties, homeworks to do, no gatherings, meetings to attend, no appointments or deadlines to meet. it was sweet. it was wonderful. i will miss it throught the term which is approaching extraordinarily fast.

there is a lot of movement on campus again. i liked it peacful. calm. the whole campus resembles this athlete who is going to start in the marthon run within couple of seconds. it is getting tensed and densed. brrr.

gianmarco left to italy. but salome came which made me very happy. well, derek lost his luggage, but found salome. hahaha. anyhow. tonight we shall skål to her first week in vancouver. i hope she'll enjoy it.

i already know that it is going to be extremely busy term. i have sort of agreed to that already. partly because i have a wonderful summer to look forward to. i hope to save some money and travel my ass off in europe. oh europe. old, beautiful, classic. eh. but one of mariam's new year's resolution was to enjoy canada. i will try to follow it to.

enough of thought stream. i will read something now (speaking specifically: death and the maiden by ariel dorfman - a very good political drama).

2007

so it has finally come. 2007. we were almost the last ones to get it, so when it was 5:00 pm here, poleo was drunkely laughing at me from spain that i lived in the past. it was interesting, though. be a year behind for couple of hours.

we celebrated it at the "our community bikes" (yes, it is a bike shed...). it was awesome, decorated in cuban colours with very good people, very good music and fantabulous atmosphere. i shall say no more for i need to sober up.

wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji nowego roku!

¡feliz año nuevo!

happy new year!

saddam's execution - a word of opinion

this is terrible. this is wrong. this is completely unacceptable. murder is a murder and killing is killing. if we punish ruthless dictators according to (or even with) their own ruthlessness, who do we become? yes; we turn into them.

hiking broadway project

today was exceptional. that was the very first day since the break had started that i was alone. not lonely. alone. and i think i wanted, needed such day.

i woke up pretty early today, around 9, ate breakfast and took the skytrain to commercial station. it's about half an hour, maybe three quaters of an hour from sfu burnaby mountain campus. it's a wonderful, lively place. but about commercial drive itself some other time. today i decided to hike up broadway from commercial to ubc (those of you who know vancouver just a little bit you know that this distance takes almost an hour on an express bus b-99. just to give you an idea).

so i went. very relaxed and chilled. the weather was not too good, but at least it wasn't raining.

before today i was on broadway once. with daina buying bedlinens and that sort of stuff at the very beginning. i explored. i entered every intersting store, especially thrift and book stores, ate awesome sushi and it was all wonderful. my soul was very quiet, very peaceful, very much in its own essence.

without worrying about a thing i hiked broadway until it turned into 8th avenue. since it started raining i dropped the idea of going all the way to ubc. but i couldn't go back to sfu, not seeing the ocean from this side of the city. i was fullfiling all the craves that came up today. i sat on the log on the beach, looked at the waves.

i had no idea of time. i abandoned my watch in the residence hall. it was slowly getting dark, so from the beach i took bus number 4 to alma street. there i thankfully found a liquor store where i bought a bottle of french brandy (which, btw, i am enjoying right now writing all this). nearby i spotted a nice coffee shop so i ordered mexican dark roast coffee served by a very cute canadian girl. having had a short chat with her i sat down on a very comfortable arm chair and while enjoying the coffee i was reading "the stories of the happy people" by lars gustafsson (yes, a swede).

when i left the little coffee shop it was already dark. waiting for the bus i engaged myself in a conversation about life and death with a completely hammered bum. then the bus came. number 84, to vcc clark station.

when i came back to the room i found out that it was 7:00pm! nothing, i said to myself. is there anything for me to hurry today? i made dinner from rice leftovers i had in the fridge and polish sasuage. it was delicious.

it was a very exceptional day, indeed. very thoughtful and happy.

święta bożego narodzenia - christmas - navidad

24 grudnia - 24th december - el 24 de diciembre


















































































25 grudnia - 25th december - el 25 de diciembre

end of ze world

h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s-!-!-!

few things

there are few things, you the readers of this blog should know about as my first term at simon fraser university is officially over.

1) just today i got my last grade and must say that i haven't yet lost the scholarship. ;-) quite on the contrary. i have managed not only to maintain this ridiculously high gpa, but actually exceed it!

2) i am staying here in burnaby during christmas. i am together with mariam (lebanon) and jesus (venezuela). both are from adriatic college. we shall figure something out.

3) i have already moved to my new room and must say it is splendid to finally have an access to kitchen! new address correspondingly to the one on the right margin. keep writing to me.

4) i have a volunteer job (i shall expand in a separate, perhaps next, post).

5) since there is little continuity between the terms i have nothing else to than chill, watch movies, read books, learn how to cook, work-out in the gym, chill, smoke, drink, commute without feeling in hurry, chill, play chess etc. let it stay as long as possible.

6) finally i got a haircut. i have no idea why did i delay a visit in a hairdresser (in canadian english: barber) for such a long time. it seemed like a dentist visit. haha. whateva.

(soon pictures of the new room)

some random ones

on the move again

i am sitting by my messy desk in a very chaotic room 2053 on the second floor of b tower. i am sipping amber ale (it's actually quite acceptable canadian beer brewed on the granville island).

i am listening to tryo.

it's 8:00 pm.

i am packing up all my stuff and moving away again. emphasis on: again. just after three months of living in this residence. is it this crave for a constant change, constant move? i find myself unable to stand living in one place for more than half a year now, less than that sometimes. i feel this intrinsic desire to move, to see, to explore and discover. eh.

the official reason, though (which is completely reasonable and true too), is that tower b lacks a kitchen. and i really want to finally cook for myself whenever and whatever i want.

i will post my new address as soon as i move in, which is probably monday. the mail, however, won't be delivered to campus during the winter break, i.e. until 3rd january.

...for me it's always been a magical world, i've thought so ever since i was quite young ... i still have a feeling that i have seen something that no one else has seen. it's hard to describe in simple words, but imagine the world without all this modern fuss about natural laws, evolutionary theory, atoms, dna molecules, biochemistry and nerve cells. imagine the world before it began to spin in fact, before it was reduced to being a planet in space, and before human body was divided into heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, brain, blood system, muscles, stomach and intenstines. i'm talking about the time when a human being as a human being, a complete and proud human being, no more and no less. then the world was just one sparkling fairytale...

...so look at the world. look at the world before you've filled yourself with too much physics and chemistry.

truly funny thing - funnily true thing

apparently there is a subgroup on facebook called "i went to an international school, and i am wordly bitch!" when a friend of mine showed it to me i couldn't stop laughing. so, uwc graduates (and future graduates), isn't it fucking true? or funny is it?

check this out:

you know what 'tck' stands for.

you own more than one passport from different countries, or you own a foreign passport, or simply, you own a passport.

you feel multiple passports are acceptable.

you don't have a driver's license for the country you're in.

your "home" is more than 5 hours away...by AIRPLANE.

you don't have a "home".

the question, "where are you from?" elicits a five-minute answer from you.

you are tired of people exclaiming, "your English is good! where did you learn it?"

you are tired of people asking you, "Where IS that?

canada is a foreign country.

you swear in more than one language.

common idioms and expressions you use habitually come from several languages, none of which you speak fluently.

you talk to different people in your life in different languages.

half of your phone calls are unintelligible to those around you.

you watch a movie set in a foreign country and you know what the nationals are really saying into the camera.

your yearbook had more than one language in it.

your high school memories include days when school was cancelled due to riots, demonstrations, or bomb threats.

you had to take the toefl.

fahrenheit/inches/miles = crap.

you know what ib and a-level mean.

you use msn because you know it's way better than aim since the rest of the world uses it.

you miss the cheap and delicious food from "home".

people mispronounce your name. YESSS!!!!!!!

you have friends in more than three continents.

you have enough frequent flyer miles to give your roommate a free round-trip ticket somewhere.

you're on first name terms with the travel agency and can speak authoritatively on the quality of airline travel for the past 15 years.

you're constantly checking up on the current exchange rate.

you know what country goes with what timezone out of necessity.

what's with this crappy version of cnn? and where's 24hr bbc news when you need it? richard quest, anybody?

when people talk about current events or watch travel shows, you pitch in because you were there, or you personally know someone who was.

you don't understand the college fascination with alcohol - you've been drinking since you were 12. in bars.

beer pong is overrated. just drink the damn thing.

you understand that diversity is not a matter of race.


so: true or funny? funny or true? both...?

final exam(s)

since i have already written spanish exam, communication exam has been waived and psychology exam does not really count towards the final grade, i find it extremely challenging to motivate myself to study for philosophy. the exam is, let's see... oh shit! it's actually tommorow. well. whatever.

they are made out of meat

after russell: "science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know". hence some might think that philosophy can't teach; only can it speculate. how wrong those peoples are! how wrong!

in introduction to philosophy of mind they make us watch fun movies and they actually teach us something. that we are made out of meat.

vino, sushi and skatalites concert

like in title.

doesn't that sound/look like a perfect weekend, eh?

sheeping

someone whispered in to my inner ear: be a sheep.

to be a sheep. simply, a sheep.

perhaps i am one. perhaps. a sheep in the herd of wolves.

just wearing wolf's mask.

for how could a true sheep survive among its predators?

and what if, and my prediction slowly grows into expectation, hope even, what if the wolves don't really exist?

and all creatures that we percieve as wolves are, just like me, the sheep in masks?

what then?

are you daring to take the mask off?

how is it goin' man?

picture the following:

i am strolling down the sfu campus. people running to and from the lectures. busy people. really busy people. but i am strolling, enjoying freezing winter air and the whiteness of snow.

from time to time i find a familiar face in this river of people. and so i noticed chelsea, a girl from the 4th floor of my tower. she's wearing her iPod [a central charachter of this story] and generally looking very cool. she is probably listening to her very cool music, perhaps the coolest in the universe, yet she notices me and smiles.

the suspense is coming. i smile back and say: "hello, hello!" she says: "hi, i am pretty good, thanks" and so we pass each other by.

ha?

did you get that? neither did i. until i sat down in the cafeteria and wrote the whole situation down. if you still don't get my conclusion, i shall help you.

the punchline is: never say hello without saying 'how's it goin'?' or a phrase alike. let the people socially and naturally isolated by iPods can actually fit their responses to your intelligent inquiry.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

the sfu campus covered with this white thing called snow...

sen

do tej pory nie jest dla mnie jasne skąd się tam wziąłem, ale zostałem zaproszony na egzekucję terrorysty. prawdopodobnie całkiem ważnego terrorysty.

sceneria przypominała amerykańską bazę guantanamo na kubie. dookoła placu, na którym ów terrorysta miał być rozstrzelany zaczęli gromadzić się ludzie. kolejno rozpoznawałem twarze najważniejszych amerykańskich polityków: bush, rumsfeld, rice itd.

czułem się bardzo nieswojo. powtarzam, że nie mam zielonego pojęcia co mnie tam sprowadziło. muszę przyznać, że nawet przyglądałem się widowisku z rosnącym zainteresowaniem i dziwnym podekscytowaniem. dopóki. dopóki nie wrosłem w ziemię.

czterej żołnierze w piaskowych mundurach wprowadzili na środek placu skazanego.
zasalutowali. na prawych ramieniach widniały polskie flagi.

niepokój powrócił w mgnieniu oka. skazany na głowie miał parciany worek. mimo, że ręce i nogi miał skute potężnymi kajdanami, miotał się na wszystkie strony. co chwila jeden z polaków wymierzał skazanemu cios, po czym powracał do posłusznej, wyprężonej postury ‘na baczność’.

okolicę patrolowały trzy helikoptery. wszyscy obecni zostaliśmy kilkakrotnie powiadomieni o nadzwyczajnych środkach bezpieczeństwa. nikomu podczas egzekucji nie mogła nawet zadrżeć powieka, gdyż może tym na siebie ściągnąć podejrzenia i ogień strzelców.

stałem tam jak sparaliżowany: ‘co ja tu do cholery robię?’

zaczęły się przemówienia. ‘musimy z tym skończyć!’ albo ‘chcemy żyć w wolnym kraju’ albo ‘wrogowie, strzeżcie się’. wzdrygnąłem się. braci kaczyńskich na szczęście nie było wśród tłumu, ale czwórka polskich żołnierzy prężyła się i śliniła do amerykańskich brzuchów.

zbliżał się moment egzekucji. jeszcze raz zostaliśmy powiadomieni o nadzwyczajnych środkach bezpieczeństwa, a ja cały czas nie mogłem się ruszyć. cały byłem sparaliżowany, gniewem, strachem, rozpaczą, ludzką głupotą.

i kiedy polscy żołnierze przeładowywali swoje amerykańskie karabiny i cały tłum znieruchomiał na te kilka sekund, coś we mnie tknęło. przełknąłem ślinę i poprawiłem sobie sfatygowany kołnierzyk od koszuli. w tej samej chwili jeden z żołnierzy błyskawicznie odwrócił się i wystrzelił w moją stronę.

czas zwolnił, zupełnie jak w hollywoodzkich filmach. dostałem w lewe ramię. ‘żesz kurwa jego mać!’ wykrzyknąłem po polsku ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ poprawiłem się. ale nikt nawet nie zauważył mojej krwawiącej ręki. egzekucja przebiegła normalnie. minutę później usłyszałem głuchy strzał i grom oklasków. i kolejne przemówienia.

powoli zacząłem tracić przytomność. ciągle byłem niewidzialny. nikt mnie nie słyszał, nikt mnie nie widział.

ostatkiem sił doczołgałem się do baraków i znalazłem lekarza. w chwili gdy lekarz wbił swoje metalowe szczypce w moją ranę, ból był tak przenikliwy, że obudziłem się w moim akademickim łóżku. i od razu napisałem tę historię.

volleyball worldchampionship: scoreboard

17.11.2006

poland - china 3:0 (25:21, 25:20, 25:21)

18.11.2006

argentina - poland 0:3 (21:25, 22:25, 22:25)

19.11.2006

poland - egypt 3:0 (25:13, 25:19, 26:24)

21.11.2006

puerto rico - poland 0:3 (22:25, 22:25, 23:25)

22.11.2006

japan - poland 0:3 (25:18, 25:21, 25:23)

shall i say more? ;-)

next one to be defeated is tunisia...

solipsism

i rarely listen to what the philosophy prof says during the lectures. i rarely listen to her words as they are. my mind, rather, wonders around these words and ideas.

and so it did around searle's 'chinese room' thought experiment. and suddenly my brain was hit with an idea of solipsism.

'ouch'.

'ouch'

it was hit twice, actually.

and so i felt sort of obliged to put my thoughts down. on paper. on screen, i mean. i touch upon this extreme of skepticism, not because i believe it. no. or rather not yet.

do i allow such a possibility then? well. i must say i do. a tiny, little possibility that it is only my mind, which truly exists.

would it make my life simpler? clearer? happier? might do. but, again, not necessarily.

and it is still just a promile of a possibility. a promile.

but there is.

stranger equals danger

"stranger equals danger! don't let anyone you don't know into your residence building."

these posters are all over the place. and yes, they are distributed by the residence administration.

lock your room at all times. even if you go our for a short jog, even if you go to visit your neighbour, even if you only go to pee. this is what we are told. thieves are just waiting for an opportunity!

remember that, at the same time, the community is built upon trust. interesting, ain't it?

well, i miss the community that really is built upon trust. zdbice. le caussanel. lingbo. flekke. eh.

i know that stupidity and greediness are everywhere and even back in flekkeland people steal. but the scale is completely different. the bonds among people are strong enough to really trust...

a job

remember the quote from trainspotting?

"choose life. choose a job. choose a career. choose a family..." and so forth.

i have chosen a job. have i chosen life, though? but from the beginning, for you probably are dying to ask this question: "so what do you do?"

i solicite. i telemarket. i fundraise. i convince people to support and contribute to the project. hahaha. does not matter how you phrase it. it is the same shit dressed up nicely in politically correct words. so i sit on the phone and i dial. and dial. 604-344-2566 or 1-250-876-8912 or 1-613-466-7834. amazing how many combinations one can make only out of 10 digits.

i call alumni of sfu three times a week and apart from 'informing' or 'making them keep in touch' (nicely, phrased again, eh?) i make them donate money for scholarships and bursaries, library endowment or whatever else they feel like donating money for. hahaha. funny.

4 hours on the phone. "hello and good evening may i speak to mr. x please" can't really make a font sound exciting on the blog, but you must be quite positive. voice is everything. you have a boring voice, you lose. "who is calling?" usually comes an unpleasant answer. people are really afraid of other people here. people are paranoid not to be robbed or cheated. they are always alert. and they are especially alert when it comes to soliciting.

then i say: "excuse me, that i haven't introduce myself. my name is grzesiek and i am just a student calling from sfu alumni" notice that i smartly don't mention the actual apeal. how smart. i really can't get over how smart it is. make them feel relaxed. relaxed people usually are willing to donate. tfu, participate, contribute, give, support. we don't like the word donation.

and so whoever picked up the phone get the prospect or it appears that i am already talking to the alumnus himself in disguise. sfu alumni. they are funny too. so many interesting stories i could read from their records. when did they graduate, what degree did they recieve, how much have they given in the past (the program has been running roughly for 20 years) and sometimes they even include comments like: "loves sfu" or "hates sfu" or both. alumni is a weird cast. especially emba alumni (executive master of business and administration).

then obviously i have to do my job. so i go through asking them about their experiences at sfu, how much they loved the university, i tell them about my experience here and how fantastic the place is, then i remind about some of the benefits and services and then, as bakkerud would probably say, i cut the small talk and ask not for a for support. remember, support not donation. we prefer to put them on credit cards.

but don't you think the job itself is easy. nah. not at all, actually. some people hang up. some are completely not interested or broke. but others just give. some out of pure desire to help out, others just so i won't bother them any more. people are funny. but sfu alumni are even funnier. so diverse, i'd say.

also what i have noticed is that so much depends on the faculty they went to. i swear. the scientist were so bloody unresponsive generally, no offence to anyone. business students give a lot, but there is nothing behind that money. and i think that intention is more important than the actual amount. so i much more appreciate 10 bucks from someone who has just lost their job than 1000$ from an emba graduate. it adds up after all.

another funny thing is to listen to the answer machines. how many different styles people develop to record the welcoming message. but as i have said before. those peolpe are sfu alumni. they are extremely funny. as i work i get a lot of answer machines. that is inteteresting, though. i think.

[i got this job in the middle of october. some impressions are from the very beginning, but most of the post was written today. this job is good, though. it makes me more and more convinced that i do want to work on the farm just like my predecessors. or at least i don't want to have an sitting job. i will try to make some more insightful remarks at the end of the calling campaign in the end of the month.]

tuesday

tuesdays are tough. they come too quickly after a weekend and almost free monday. i have acquired this amazing skills of time managment tough, so i can do everything i want to. the plan goes as follows:

7:28 - first alarm clock rings. gets turned off.

7:32 - second alarm clock rings. i get up.

then a little bit of morning stretching, shower, teeth brushing, shaving and breakfast. everything must be done before 8:17.

8:30 - spanish class starts, but usually my mexican teacher comes around 8:36.

9:20 - spanish class ends.

go to the librarian to check whether i am consistent with the apa style throughout my essays. it shall not take longer than 15, up to 20 minutes. run back to the residence, get the essays printed out.

10:30 - psychology lecture starts. it is as interesting as intense.

11:22 - psychology lecture ends.

i go for a lunch with milosh and others. but i usually take it 'to go' because i am in hurry somewhere else.

11:56 - meeting with my psychology study group. our presentation is tommorow and it is not fully done. holy shit!

12:35 - spanish conversation club meeting. if the psychology thing goes for too long i think i might skip it this time.

13:30 - communications lecture begins. roman onufrijchuk is going to talk to us in greek and latin again. but shouldn't be too boring. usually isn't.

14:27 - a break. always get a coffee or something to survive the second part of the lecture. i emphasize it is not because it is boring, but because i am so so tired by this time.

15:18 - the lecture ends.

20 minutes of free time. i can do whatever i feel like.

then go back to residence, drop by stuff, clean a room a little bit and off i go. work.

17:00 - work. "hello it's grzesiek speaking from sfu alumni ... would like to contribute to our scholarships and bursaries fund?" and so on for 4 hours with a short break in between.

21:00 - usually they release us at that time. usually. if we reach "the goal of the night". X thousand dollars.

then two more essay revisions. teeth brushing and going to bed. maybe looking through news. we have provincial elections in poland going on. or perhaps it's not worth it. and tommorow? tommorow, the first alarm clock will also ring at 7:28...

i am not complaining. i just wish the monks hadn't invented the clock back in 13th century...

realizations that have made me sad

I. realization that i don't live in the paradise. i was around 12 and i was a witness and at the same time a victim of my parents' divorce.

II. realization that i can't read all the books that has ever been written. i was in junior high and having had read eco's name of the rose i looked at the shelf in the library.

III. realization that i will never meet all the people in the world. that was on my first lpc camp and later on at uwc. i always meet a small sample out of 6 billion.

and the most recent one:

IV. realization that brain is nothing but a machine. this is here, at sfu. most of it came out of the course readings on metaphysics, psychology and communications. consider this:

"could the machines think?"
"the answer is, obviously, yes. we are precisely such machines." (john searle)

terrible, isn't it? this triggers thinking: do i really want to know? do i want to further realize? realization kills enchantment. enchantment is the most essential part of my life. killing enchantment practically equals a suicide.

however, there is always hope. i just can't find a scientific explanation to this hypothesis.

studying techniques

camilla always shrugged her shoulders when i sat next to her during history classes with oberfuhrer erik pedersen and instead of taking notes i did art. well, first it helped me not to fall asleep, second transfer information from STM to LTM and third i spotted ALL erik's jokes on the margin... ask ivan.

in studying techniques nothing changed here. i still do art instead of studying for real. it makes the process longer, yet far more enjoyable and how effective! this is what took me through ib without going mad... hopefully it will take me through university...

historia nieprawdopodobnie zwyczajna. historia zwyczajnie nieprawdopodobna.

podobnie jak w filmowych kreacjach pedra almódovara moja dzisiejsza historia jest tak zwyczajna że aż nieprawdopodobna. ale od początku...

wszystko zaczęło się 23 sierpnia w samolocie linii lotniczych british airways lecącym z krakowskich balic do londynu-gatwick. moje miejsce miało numer 16F, a rząd obok mnie siedziała cała amerykańska rodzina - małżeństwo z dwójką dzieci. przez cały lot czytałem marka świetlickiego i sączyłem czerwone wino w miarę jak oddalałem się od kraju nad wisłą. w połowie lotu, pewnie gdzieś nad francją, musiałem zagościć w tej malutkiej samolotowej toalecie. (ech, czerwone wina!) do toalety była całkiem spora kolejka, więc i ja posłusznie w niej stanąłem. za mną ustawił się ten amerykanin, który cały czas siedział obok i zabawiał swoją córeczkę. jak to mam w zwyczaju - zagadałem. i pogadaliśmy. najpierw po angielsku, a potem, kiedy amerykanin okazał się krakusem, po polsku. człowiek ten przedstawił się jako adam bentkowski i wyemigrował do stanów zjednoczonych w latach 80 gdzie osiedlił się i ożenił. ja opowiedziałem mu o uwc i stypendium na sfu w vancouver. pan adam na to: "mam przyjaciela w vancouver. geologa".

i tak się zaczęło. po skorzystaniu z toaelty, wypiliśmy jeszcze jedno czerwone wino, wymieniliśmy adresy elektroniczne (bo prawdziwych adresów się w dzisiejszych czasach nie wymienia) i rozeszliśmy się na ruchliwym lotnisku w gatwick. tak się zaczęło i tutaj też mogło się skończyć. ale się nie skończyło.

jak tylko dostałem się do vancouver i w miarę osiedliłem w pokoju numer B2053 napisałem do pana adama z prośbą o kontakt do geologa. po tygodniu odpisał mi, że najpierw musi otrzymać jego zgodę na udostępnienie danych (dokąd świat zmierza, cholera jasna?), a po dwóch dostałem adres (elektroniczny, rzecz najjaśniejsza) geologa. geolog nazywa się piotr lutyński.

podekscytowany napisałem do pana piotra jak najszybciej i po kilku dniach dostałem odpowiedź. słowem trzy zdania. przykro mi grzegorz, jestem teraz w peru na ekspedycji, ale chętnie się z tobą spotkam po 25 października, bo wtedy wracam. numer telefonu. piotr lutyński. ani słowa więcej, ani słowa mniej.

nic, pomyślałem, na tym pewnie się skończy. ale nie! po 25tym skontaktowałem się z piotrem i zostałem zaproszony na kolację i tzw. 'kawowanie'. no to co? no to pojechałem. autobus 145 - żółta nitka skytrain - aUtobus 22 i jestem na sherbrooke street gdzie mieszka piotr lutyński (jak tylko jest w vancouver) wraz z rodziną.

dom piotra jest stary, ale magiczny. cały drewniany. w domu paliły się świece. pełno było obrazów i atmosfera była trochę tak jak u witkacego w zakopanem. słowo. nawet piotr kupił na jednej ze swoich niezliczonych podróży w argentynie orginał obrazu witkacego...

pogadaliśmy. pojedliśmy. pokawowaliśmy. było przepmile. i tak sobie myślę, że tylko dla tych nieprawdopodobnie zwyczajnych albo zwyczajnie nieprawdopodobnych chwil i znajomości warto oddychać.

the illusion of saturated fats

"if anybody tells you that you can't make a change to this world, tell them that they are full of shit. because they are."

roman onufrijchuk

now probably you wonder who roman onufrijchuk is. try google or wikipedia. but i am not quite sure you'll find him there, cause he ain't a celebrity. roman is my communications professor. incredibly outspoken and eloquent. probably the most outspoken and eloquent of all my professors here. no wonder for his roots are back in eastern europe.

i am actually collecting his quotes but the one above touched me to the deepest and made my neurotransmitters fire like hell. about different issues. but since the context of the quote was abandoning saturated fats in canada (long and a little bit arbitrary story) it made me primarily think of saturated fats.

i assume that through abandoning saturated fats canadians want to fight the syndrome x, the fastest growing disease in north america - obesity.

bravo! but.

but as usually here they don't address the problem. this won't stop canadians growing fat in a terribly fast pace (neurotransmitters fired and thoughts appeared on somewhere on my cerebral cortex).

what they should do instead is abandoning corporate fast food restaurants and office jobs for these are two places where people are simply fed shit. i don't really have to go into mcdonalds issue, but it is worthwhile touching upon 'deskjobs'. people are treated there with chocholate all the time. i mean it, i am experiencing it and it seems (and looks) like a pigpen. the tall and slim secretary is a myth! but these people eating in fast food places is not...

now i realize they will never ban fast food restaurants or office jobs. why? because these two run their economies and hence they cannot afford it! they prefer keep people up with an illusion of abandoning saturated fats and continue serving shit hamburgers (though perhaps without saturated fats).

and yet again i am asking myself: is this really the continent of the free? is this a really individualistic and literate societies we are talking about? in such conflicts the government has a choice between the state and the individual, the individual still loses. always.

and the only hope that is left now is enclosed in roman's quote: "if anybody tells you that you can't make a change to this world, tell them that they are full of shit. because they are."

ps. excuse me for oversimplifications and generalizations.

orales de español

tommorow i have oral exams in spanish. here is one minute presentation i was supposed to prepared (i dont really know why do i share it on the blog. perhaps i am just a bit proud of it??? :-) ):

voy a hablar sobre venezuela. venezuela es un país tropical situado al norte de américa del sur. su nombre significa "pequeña venecia" porque a los conquistadores las construcciones indígenas recordoban las construcciones de venecia.

la capital de venezuela es caracas, un puerto importante del mar caribe. también es una ciudad de contrastes - el lujo y la pobreza. pero el presidente de venezuela - hugo chávez - trabaja por una cambia.

en venezuela los ritmos de la salsa y del joropo son muy populares. la salsa es famosa en todo el mundo. pero el libro no tiene razón cuando dice "nueva york y miami son los principales centros de la salsa". es una perspectiva parcializada y muy, muy norteamericana. el verdadero centro de la salsa, su corazón es cuba, repúbilca dominicana y puerto rico.