snowshoeing at holyburn mt.

this was in the beginning of january, but only now i have gotten the pictures from alban. enjoy.

(another) publication

hey! yet another newspaper has published me! this time it was vancouver sun and their saturday's supplement "travel". i told them a uwc story (what else could have i told them, anyway?). click to enlarge.

besides, it's still snowing outside. even the oldest vancouverites don't remember such harsh winter for the city...

cover:

and the feature:

lpc, here i come

"let me come back to the paradise again and again" i wrote when i was sixteen in the letter full of gratitude to lpc (luethi-peterson camps), a swiss foundation which organizes international summer camps.

you can't even measure the importance of lpc in my life. yes, it was a definite turning point for me: first, it opened the gates of the world (in rcn, i argued that without the lpc experience there would be no uwc for me), second, it moved my thoughts about needs, live and so on slightly to the left (they are somewhere there since), but primarily lpc saved my life. and only now i am not afraid to speak about it frankly. it did save my life.

anyhow. i am going back to the most idealistic world i have ever tasted... (if you think uwc was idealistic, you're wrong.) i am going to hegnes (ironically, it's a 2 hour hike from flekke, hahahah!). it's an awesome campsite. it's right by the fjordshore. no running water, the house (plus the barn) is falling apart (actually, i reckon that the barn is in better condition...) spartan, simple living, really. lpc. eh.

at least now i have something to look forward to. here i come.

ps. all the nordics, i think of having a little tour de scandinavia before the camp starts, so whoever's home during the summer and wants a distinguished visitor from poland, let me know ;-)

o śmierci saddama (polityka)

zaraz po wykonaniu egzekucji na saddamie husajnie napisałem trzy stronicowy artykuł potępiający wyrok. wysłałem go do wszystkich przeglądów, newsweeków, wprostów etc. i chyba tylko polityka wydrukowała kawałeczek w "listach". nic to. i tak jestem dumny... (kliknij aby powiększyć)

from "stories of happy people" by gustafsson

"... and perhaps it isn't so important that everything should be important ... wasn't it true that all the power in the world was based on the same big lie: that the meaning of our lives is located outside of ourselves? ... why do we need the enigmatic in people to love them? ... the monster would rather die than give up his gold. rather die than show himself ... 'what does a lake turned into a bog reflect?' 'itself?' 'or a different sky' ... this leave-taking was, in spite of the continous fever of the wound, the most beautiful he experienced. so light and cheerful, and at the same time so serious and deep that he could still reacall its breathing. it was a vehement reminder that life is easy, that it consists of the purest lust, and that it only exists for those who are able to dance and to laugh."

go canucks go

vancouver canucks is a local hockey team. everyone in the city goes crazy about them (it is fucking well publicized too, but this is a different story). especially that now they havent lost in 6 games.

imagine that yesterday i went to a hockey game. canucks were playing a team called florida phanthers. i went with adam. you know, just to get the real canadian experience. it is not even plausible without hockey.

so before the game started he had to explain all the rules to me for obviously i was completely yellow. polish hockey players are employed in nhl only to fight on the ice, so this was basically the idea i had about hockey.

but the game is not (only) about bumbing into the other players. in order to win the team has to score a goal as well.

it was supposed to be an easy game for the canucks, but they won only after shoot-outs.

ps. i was really impressed by the goalie's job in hockey.

confronting the pace of reality again

i am really tired of the questions: "how was your break? what did you do?" etc. i simply chilled. it is the activity i havent really enjoyed properly since the summer ended. i could be completely careless and spontaneous. i could do whatever i wanted. there were no duties, homeworks to do, no gatherings, meetings to attend, no appointments or deadlines to meet. it was sweet. it was wonderful. i will miss it throught the term which is approaching extraordinarily fast.

there is a lot of movement on campus again. i liked it peacful. calm. the whole campus resembles this athlete who is going to start in the marthon run within couple of seconds. it is getting tensed and densed. brrr.

gianmarco left to italy. but salome came which made me very happy. well, derek lost his luggage, but found salome. hahaha. anyhow. tonight we shall skål to her first week in vancouver. i hope she'll enjoy it.

i already know that it is going to be extremely busy term. i have sort of agreed to that already. partly because i have a wonderful summer to look forward to. i hope to save some money and travel my ass off in europe. oh europe. old, beautiful, classic. eh. but one of mariam's new year's resolution was to enjoy canada. i will try to follow it to.

enough of thought stream. i will read something now (speaking specifically: death and the maiden by ariel dorfman - a very good political drama).

2007

so it has finally come. 2007. we were almost the last ones to get it, so when it was 5:00 pm here, poleo was drunkely laughing at me from spain that i lived in the past. it was interesting, though. be a year behind for couple of hours.

we celebrated it at the "our community bikes" (yes, it is a bike shed...). it was awesome, decorated in cuban colours with very good people, very good music and fantabulous atmosphere. i shall say no more for i need to sober up.

wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji nowego roku!

¡feliz año nuevo!

happy new year!

saddam's execution - a word of opinion

this is terrible. this is wrong. this is completely unacceptable. murder is a murder and killing is killing. if we punish ruthless dictators according to (or even with) their own ruthlessness, who do we become? yes; we turn into them.

hiking broadway project

today was exceptional. that was the very first day since the break had started that i was alone. not lonely. alone. and i think i wanted, needed such day.

i woke up pretty early today, around 9, ate breakfast and took the skytrain to commercial station. it's about half an hour, maybe three quaters of an hour from sfu burnaby mountain campus. it's a wonderful, lively place. but about commercial drive itself some other time. today i decided to hike up broadway from commercial to ubc (those of you who know vancouver just a little bit you know that this distance takes almost an hour on an express bus b-99. just to give you an idea).

so i went. very relaxed and chilled. the weather was not too good, but at least it wasn't raining.

before today i was on broadway once. with daina buying bedlinens and that sort of stuff at the very beginning. i explored. i entered every intersting store, especially thrift and book stores, ate awesome sushi and it was all wonderful. my soul was very quiet, very peaceful, very much in its own essence.

without worrying about a thing i hiked broadway until it turned into 8th avenue. since it started raining i dropped the idea of going all the way to ubc. but i couldn't go back to sfu, not seeing the ocean from this side of the city. i was fullfiling all the craves that came up today. i sat on the log on the beach, looked at the waves.

i had no idea of time. i abandoned my watch in the residence hall. it was slowly getting dark, so from the beach i took bus number 4 to alma street. there i thankfully found a liquor store where i bought a bottle of french brandy (which, btw, i am enjoying right now writing all this). nearby i spotted a nice coffee shop so i ordered mexican dark roast coffee served by a very cute canadian girl. having had a short chat with her i sat down on a very comfortable arm chair and while enjoying the coffee i was reading "the stories of the happy people" by lars gustafsson (yes, a swede).

when i left the little coffee shop it was already dark. waiting for the bus i engaged myself in a conversation about life and death with a completely hammered bum. then the bus came. number 84, to vcc clark station.

when i came back to the room i found out that it was 7:00pm! nothing, i said to myself. is there anything for me to hurry today? i made dinner from rice leftovers i had in the fridge and polish sasuage. it was delicious.

it was a very exceptional day, indeed. very thoughtful and happy.

święta bożego narodzenia - christmas - navidad

24 grudnia - 24th december - el 24 de diciembre


















































































25 grudnia - 25th december - el 25 de diciembre

end of ze world

h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s-!-!-!

few things

there are few things, you the readers of this blog should know about as my first term at simon fraser university is officially over.

1) just today i got my last grade and must say that i haven't yet lost the scholarship. ;-) quite on the contrary. i have managed not only to maintain this ridiculously high gpa, but actually exceed it!

2) i am staying here in burnaby during christmas. i am together with mariam (lebanon) and jesus (venezuela). both are from adriatic college. we shall figure something out.

3) i have already moved to my new room and must say it is splendid to finally have an access to kitchen! new address correspondingly to the one on the right margin. keep writing to me.

4) i have a volunteer job (i shall expand in a separate, perhaps next, post).

5) since there is little continuity between the terms i have nothing else to than chill, watch movies, read books, learn how to cook, work-out in the gym, chill, smoke, drink, commute without feeling in hurry, chill, play chess etc. let it stay as long as possible.

6) finally i got a haircut. i have no idea why did i delay a visit in a hairdresser (in canadian english: barber) for such a long time. it seemed like a dentist visit. haha. whateva.

(soon pictures of the new room)

some random ones

on the move again

i am sitting by my messy desk in a very chaotic room 2053 on the second floor of b tower. i am sipping amber ale (it's actually quite acceptable canadian beer brewed on the granville island).

i am listening to tryo.

it's 8:00 pm.

i am packing up all my stuff and moving away again. emphasis on: again. just after three months of living in this residence. is it this crave for a constant change, constant move? i find myself unable to stand living in one place for more than half a year now, less than that sometimes. i feel this intrinsic desire to move, to see, to explore and discover. eh.

the official reason, though (which is completely reasonable and true too), is that tower b lacks a kitchen. and i really want to finally cook for myself whenever and whatever i want.

i will post my new address as soon as i move in, which is probably monday. the mail, however, won't be delivered to campus during the winter break, i.e. until 3rd january.

...for me it's always been a magical world, i've thought so ever since i was quite young ... i still have a feeling that i have seen something that no one else has seen. it's hard to describe in simple words, but imagine the world without all this modern fuss about natural laws, evolutionary theory, atoms, dna molecules, biochemistry and nerve cells. imagine the world before it began to spin in fact, before it was reduced to being a planet in space, and before human body was divided into heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, brain, blood system, muscles, stomach and intenstines. i'm talking about the time when a human being as a human being, a complete and proud human being, no more and no less. then the world was just one sparkling fairytale...

...so look at the world. look at the world before you've filled yourself with too much physics and chemistry.

truly funny thing - funnily true thing

apparently there is a subgroup on facebook called "i went to an international school, and i am wordly bitch!" when a friend of mine showed it to me i couldn't stop laughing. so, uwc graduates (and future graduates), isn't it fucking true? or funny is it?

check this out:

you know what 'tck' stands for.

you own more than one passport from different countries, or you own a foreign passport, or simply, you own a passport.

you feel multiple passports are acceptable.

you don't have a driver's license for the country you're in.

your "home" is more than 5 hours away...by AIRPLANE.

you don't have a "home".

the question, "where are you from?" elicits a five-minute answer from you.

you are tired of people exclaiming, "your English is good! where did you learn it?"

you are tired of people asking you, "Where IS that?

canada is a foreign country.

you swear in more than one language.

common idioms and expressions you use habitually come from several languages, none of which you speak fluently.

you talk to different people in your life in different languages.

half of your phone calls are unintelligible to those around you.

you watch a movie set in a foreign country and you know what the nationals are really saying into the camera.

your yearbook had more than one language in it.

your high school memories include days when school was cancelled due to riots, demonstrations, or bomb threats.

you had to take the toefl.

fahrenheit/inches/miles = crap.

you know what ib and a-level mean.

you use msn because you know it's way better than aim since the rest of the world uses it.

you miss the cheap and delicious food from "home".

people mispronounce your name. YESSS!!!!!!!

you have friends in more than three continents.

you have enough frequent flyer miles to give your roommate a free round-trip ticket somewhere.

you're on first name terms with the travel agency and can speak authoritatively on the quality of airline travel for the past 15 years.

you're constantly checking up on the current exchange rate.

you know what country goes with what timezone out of necessity.

what's with this crappy version of cnn? and where's 24hr bbc news when you need it? richard quest, anybody?

when people talk about current events or watch travel shows, you pitch in because you were there, or you personally know someone who was.

you don't understand the college fascination with alcohol - you've been drinking since you were 12. in bars.

beer pong is overrated. just drink the damn thing.

you understand that diversity is not a matter of race.


so: true or funny? funny or true? both...?

final exam(s)

since i have already written spanish exam, communication exam has been waived and psychology exam does not really count towards the final grade, i find it extremely challenging to motivate myself to study for philosophy. the exam is, let's see... oh shit! it's actually tommorow. well. whatever.

they are made out of meat

after russell: "science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know". hence some might think that philosophy can't teach; only can it speculate. how wrong those peoples are! how wrong!

in introduction to philosophy of mind they make us watch fun movies and they actually teach us something. that we are made out of meat.

vino, sushi and skatalites concert

like in title.

doesn't that sound/look like a perfect weekend, eh?

sheeping

someone whispered in to my inner ear: be a sheep.

to be a sheep. simply, a sheep.

perhaps i am one. perhaps. a sheep in the herd of wolves.

just wearing wolf's mask.

for how could a true sheep survive among its predators?

and what if, and my prediction slowly grows into expectation, hope even, what if the wolves don't really exist?

and all creatures that we percieve as wolves are, just like me, the sheep in masks?

what then?

are you daring to take the mask off?

how is it goin' man?

picture the following:

i am strolling down the sfu campus. people running to and from the lectures. busy people. really busy people. but i am strolling, enjoying freezing winter air and the whiteness of snow.

from time to time i find a familiar face in this river of people. and so i noticed chelsea, a girl from the 4th floor of my tower. she's wearing her iPod [a central charachter of this story] and generally looking very cool. she is probably listening to her very cool music, perhaps the coolest in the universe, yet she notices me and smiles.

the suspense is coming. i smile back and say: "hello, hello!" she says: "hi, i am pretty good, thanks" and so we pass each other by.

ha?

did you get that? neither did i. until i sat down in the cafeteria and wrote the whole situation down. if you still don't get my conclusion, i shall help you.

the punchline is: never say hello without saying 'how's it goin'?' or a phrase alike. let the people socially and naturally isolated by iPods can actually fit their responses to your intelligent inquiry.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

the sfu campus covered with this white thing called snow...

sen

do tej pory nie jest dla mnie jasne skąd się tam wziąłem, ale zostałem zaproszony na egzekucję terrorysty. prawdopodobnie całkiem ważnego terrorysty.

sceneria przypominała amerykańską bazę guantanamo na kubie. dookoła placu, na którym ów terrorysta miał być rozstrzelany zaczęli gromadzić się ludzie. kolejno rozpoznawałem twarze najważniejszych amerykańskich polityków: bush, rumsfeld, rice itd.

czułem się bardzo nieswojo. powtarzam, że nie mam zielonego pojęcia co mnie tam sprowadziło. muszę przyznać, że nawet przyglądałem się widowisku z rosnącym zainteresowaniem i dziwnym podekscytowaniem. dopóki. dopóki nie wrosłem w ziemię.

czterej żołnierze w piaskowych mundurach wprowadzili na środek placu skazanego.
zasalutowali. na prawych ramieniach widniały polskie flagi.

niepokój powrócił w mgnieniu oka. skazany na głowie miał parciany worek. mimo, że ręce i nogi miał skute potężnymi kajdanami, miotał się na wszystkie strony. co chwila jeden z polaków wymierzał skazanemu cios, po czym powracał do posłusznej, wyprężonej postury ‘na baczność’.

okolicę patrolowały trzy helikoptery. wszyscy obecni zostaliśmy kilkakrotnie powiadomieni o nadzwyczajnych środkach bezpieczeństwa. nikomu podczas egzekucji nie mogła nawet zadrżeć powieka, gdyż może tym na siebie ściągnąć podejrzenia i ogień strzelców.

stałem tam jak sparaliżowany: ‘co ja tu do cholery robię?’

zaczęły się przemówienia. ‘musimy z tym skończyć!’ albo ‘chcemy żyć w wolnym kraju’ albo ‘wrogowie, strzeżcie się’. wzdrygnąłem się. braci kaczyńskich na szczęście nie było wśród tłumu, ale czwórka polskich żołnierzy prężyła się i śliniła do amerykańskich brzuchów.

zbliżał się moment egzekucji. jeszcze raz zostaliśmy powiadomieni o nadzwyczajnych środkach bezpieczeństwa, a ja cały czas nie mogłem się ruszyć. cały byłem sparaliżowany, gniewem, strachem, rozpaczą, ludzką głupotą.

i kiedy polscy żołnierze przeładowywali swoje amerykańskie karabiny i cały tłum znieruchomiał na te kilka sekund, coś we mnie tknęło. przełknąłem ślinę i poprawiłem sobie sfatygowany kołnierzyk od koszuli. w tej samej chwili jeden z żołnierzy błyskawicznie odwrócił się i wystrzelił w moją stronę.

czas zwolnił, zupełnie jak w hollywoodzkich filmach. dostałem w lewe ramię. ‘żesz kurwa jego mać!’ wykrzyknąłem po polsku ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ poprawiłem się. ale nikt nawet nie zauważył mojej krwawiącej ręki. egzekucja przebiegła normalnie. minutę później usłyszałem głuchy strzał i grom oklasków. i kolejne przemówienia.

powoli zacząłem tracić przytomność. ciągle byłem niewidzialny. nikt mnie nie słyszał, nikt mnie nie widział.

ostatkiem sił doczołgałem się do baraków i znalazłem lekarza. w chwili gdy lekarz wbił swoje metalowe szczypce w moją ranę, ból był tak przenikliwy, że obudziłem się w moim akademickim łóżku. i od razu napisałem tę historię.

volleyball worldchampionship: scoreboard

17.11.2006

poland - china 3:0 (25:21, 25:20, 25:21)

18.11.2006

argentina - poland 0:3 (21:25, 22:25, 22:25)

19.11.2006

poland - egypt 3:0 (25:13, 25:19, 26:24)

21.11.2006

puerto rico - poland 0:3 (22:25, 22:25, 23:25)

22.11.2006

japan - poland 0:3 (25:18, 25:21, 25:23)

shall i say more? ;-)

next one to be defeated is tunisia...

solipsism

i rarely listen to what the philosophy prof says during the lectures. i rarely listen to her words as they are. my mind, rather, wonders around these words and ideas.

and so it did around searle's 'chinese room' thought experiment. and suddenly my brain was hit with an idea of solipsism.

'ouch'.

'ouch'

it was hit twice, actually.

and so i felt sort of obliged to put my thoughts down. on paper. on screen, i mean. i touch upon this extreme of skepticism, not because i believe it. no. or rather not yet.

do i allow such a possibility then? well. i must say i do. a tiny, little possibility that it is only my mind, which truly exists.

would it make my life simpler? clearer? happier? might do. but, again, not necessarily.

and it is still just a promile of a possibility. a promile.

but there is.

stranger equals danger

"stranger equals danger! don't let anyone you don't know into your residence building."

these posters are all over the place. and yes, they are distributed by the residence administration.

lock your room at all times. even if you go our for a short jog, even if you go to visit your neighbour, even if you only go to pee. this is what we are told. thieves are just waiting for an opportunity!

remember that, at the same time, the community is built upon trust. interesting, ain't it?

well, i miss the community that really is built upon trust. zdbice. le caussanel. lingbo. flekke. eh.

i know that stupidity and greediness are everywhere and even back in flekkeland people steal. but the scale is completely different. the bonds among people are strong enough to really trust...

a job

remember the quote from trainspotting?

"choose life. choose a job. choose a career. choose a family..." and so forth.

i have chosen a job. have i chosen life, though? but from the beginning, for you probably are dying to ask this question: "so what do you do?"

i solicite. i telemarket. i fundraise. i convince people to support and contribute to the project. hahaha. does not matter how you phrase it. it is the same shit dressed up nicely in politically correct words. so i sit on the phone and i dial. and dial. 604-344-2566 or 1-250-876-8912 or 1-613-466-7834. amazing how many combinations one can make only out of 10 digits.

i call alumni of sfu three times a week and apart from 'informing' or 'making them keep in touch' (nicely, phrased again, eh?) i make them donate money for scholarships and bursaries, library endowment or whatever else they feel like donating money for. hahaha. funny.

4 hours on the phone. "hello and good evening may i speak to mr. x please" can't really make a font sound exciting on the blog, but you must be quite positive. voice is everything. you have a boring voice, you lose. "who is calling?" usually comes an unpleasant answer. people are really afraid of other people here. people are paranoid not to be robbed or cheated. they are always alert. and they are especially alert when it comes to soliciting.

then i say: "excuse me, that i haven't introduce myself. my name is grzesiek and i am just a student calling from sfu alumni" notice that i smartly don't mention the actual apeal. how smart. i really can't get over how smart it is. make them feel relaxed. relaxed people usually are willing to donate. tfu, participate, contribute, give, support. we don't like the word donation.

and so whoever picked up the phone get the prospect or it appears that i am already talking to the alumnus himself in disguise. sfu alumni. they are funny too. so many interesting stories i could read from their records. when did they graduate, what degree did they recieve, how much have they given in the past (the program has been running roughly for 20 years) and sometimes they even include comments like: "loves sfu" or "hates sfu" or both. alumni is a weird cast. especially emba alumni (executive master of business and administration).

then obviously i have to do my job. so i go through asking them about their experiences at sfu, how much they loved the university, i tell them about my experience here and how fantastic the place is, then i remind about some of the benefits and services and then, as bakkerud would probably say, i cut the small talk and ask not for a for support. remember, support not donation. we prefer to put them on credit cards.

but don't you think the job itself is easy. nah. not at all, actually. some people hang up. some are completely not interested or broke. but others just give. some out of pure desire to help out, others just so i won't bother them any more. people are funny. but sfu alumni are even funnier. so diverse, i'd say.

also what i have noticed is that so much depends on the faculty they went to. i swear. the scientist were so bloody unresponsive generally, no offence to anyone. business students give a lot, but there is nothing behind that money. and i think that intention is more important than the actual amount. so i much more appreciate 10 bucks from someone who has just lost their job than 1000$ from an emba graduate. it adds up after all.

another funny thing is to listen to the answer machines. how many different styles people develop to record the welcoming message. but as i have said before. those peolpe are sfu alumni. they are extremely funny. as i work i get a lot of answer machines. that is inteteresting, though. i think.

[i got this job in the middle of october. some impressions are from the very beginning, but most of the post was written today. this job is good, though. it makes me more and more convinced that i do want to work on the farm just like my predecessors. or at least i don't want to have an sitting job. i will try to make some more insightful remarks at the end of the calling campaign in the end of the month.]

tuesday

tuesdays are tough. they come too quickly after a weekend and almost free monday. i have acquired this amazing skills of time managment tough, so i can do everything i want to. the plan goes as follows:

7:28 - first alarm clock rings. gets turned off.

7:32 - second alarm clock rings. i get up.

then a little bit of morning stretching, shower, teeth brushing, shaving and breakfast. everything must be done before 8:17.

8:30 - spanish class starts, but usually my mexican teacher comes around 8:36.

9:20 - spanish class ends.

go to the librarian to check whether i am consistent with the apa style throughout my essays. it shall not take longer than 15, up to 20 minutes. run back to the residence, get the essays printed out.

10:30 - psychology lecture starts. it is as interesting as intense.

11:22 - psychology lecture ends.

i go for a lunch with milosh and others. but i usually take it 'to go' because i am in hurry somewhere else.

11:56 - meeting with my psychology study group. our presentation is tommorow and it is not fully done. holy shit!

12:35 - spanish conversation club meeting. if the psychology thing goes for too long i think i might skip it this time.

13:30 - communications lecture begins. roman onufrijchuk is going to talk to us in greek and latin again. but shouldn't be too boring. usually isn't.

14:27 - a break. always get a coffee or something to survive the second part of the lecture. i emphasize it is not because it is boring, but because i am so so tired by this time.

15:18 - the lecture ends.

20 minutes of free time. i can do whatever i feel like.

then go back to residence, drop by stuff, clean a room a little bit and off i go. work.

17:00 - work. "hello it's grzesiek speaking from sfu alumni ... would like to contribute to our scholarships and bursaries fund?" and so on for 4 hours with a short break in between.

21:00 - usually they release us at that time. usually. if we reach "the goal of the night". X thousand dollars.

then two more essay revisions. teeth brushing and going to bed. maybe looking through news. we have provincial elections in poland going on. or perhaps it's not worth it. and tommorow? tommorow, the first alarm clock will also ring at 7:28...

i am not complaining. i just wish the monks hadn't invented the clock back in 13th century...

realizations that have made me sad

I. realization that i don't live in the paradise. i was around 12 and i was a witness and at the same time a victim of my parents' divorce.

II. realization that i can't read all the books that has ever been written. i was in junior high and having had read eco's name of the rose i looked at the shelf in the library.

III. realization that i will never meet all the people in the world. that was on my first lpc camp and later on at uwc. i always meet a small sample out of 6 billion.

and the most recent one:

IV. realization that brain is nothing but a machine. this is here, at sfu. most of it came out of the course readings on metaphysics, psychology and communications. consider this:

"could the machines think?"
"the answer is, obviously, yes. we are precisely such machines." (john searle)

terrible, isn't it? this triggers thinking: do i really want to know? do i want to further realize? realization kills enchantment. enchantment is the most essential part of my life. killing enchantment practically equals a suicide.

however, there is always hope. i just can't find a scientific explanation to this hypothesis.

studying techniques

camilla always shrugged her shoulders when i sat next to her during history classes with oberfuhrer erik pedersen and instead of taking notes i did art. well, first it helped me not to fall asleep, second transfer information from STM to LTM and third i spotted ALL erik's jokes on the margin... ask ivan.

in studying techniques nothing changed here. i still do art instead of studying for real. it makes the process longer, yet far more enjoyable and how effective! this is what took me through ib without going mad... hopefully it will take me through university...

historia nieprawdopodobnie zwyczajna. historia zwyczajnie nieprawdopodobna.

podobnie jak w filmowych kreacjach pedra almódovara moja dzisiejsza historia jest tak zwyczajna że aż nieprawdopodobna. ale od początku...

wszystko zaczęło się 23 sierpnia w samolocie linii lotniczych british airways lecącym z krakowskich balic do londynu-gatwick. moje miejsce miało numer 16F, a rząd obok mnie siedziała cała amerykańska rodzina - małżeństwo z dwójką dzieci. przez cały lot czytałem marka świetlickiego i sączyłem czerwone wino w miarę jak oddalałem się od kraju nad wisłą. w połowie lotu, pewnie gdzieś nad francją, musiałem zagościć w tej malutkiej samolotowej toalecie. (ech, czerwone wina!) do toalety była całkiem spora kolejka, więc i ja posłusznie w niej stanąłem. za mną ustawił się ten amerykanin, który cały czas siedział obok i zabawiał swoją córeczkę. jak to mam w zwyczaju - zagadałem. i pogadaliśmy. najpierw po angielsku, a potem, kiedy amerykanin okazał się krakusem, po polsku. człowiek ten przedstawił się jako adam bentkowski i wyemigrował do stanów zjednoczonych w latach 80 gdzie osiedlił się i ożenił. ja opowiedziałem mu o uwc i stypendium na sfu w vancouver. pan adam na to: "mam przyjaciela w vancouver. geologa".

i tak się zaczęło. po skorzystaniu z toaelty, wypiliśmy jeszcze jedno czerwone wino, wymieniliśmy adresy elektroniczne (bo prawdziwych adresów się w dzisiejszych czasach nie wymienia) i rozeszliśmy się na ruchliwym lotnisku w gatwick. tak się zaczęło i tutaj też mogło się skończyć. ale się nie skończyło.

jak tylko dostałem się do vancouver i w miarę osiedliłem w pokoju numer B2053 napisałem do pana adama z prośbą o kontakt do geologa. po tygodniu odpisał mi, że najpierw musi otrzymać jego zgodę na udostępnienie danych (dokąd świat zmierza, cholera jasna?), a po dwóch dostałem adres (elektroniczny, rzecz najjaśniejsza) geologa. geolog nazywa się piotr lutyński.

podekscytowany napisałem do pana piotra jak najszybciej i po kilku dniach dostałem odpowiedź. słowem trzy zdania. przykro mi grzegorz, jestem teraz w peru na ekspedycji, ale chętnie się z tobą spotkam po 25 października, bo wtedy wracam. numer telefonu. piotr lutyński. ani słowa więcej, ani słowa mniej.

nic, pomyślałem, na tym pewnie się skończy. ale nie! po 25tym skontaktowałem się z piotrem i zostałem zaproszony na kolację i tzw. 'kawowanie'. no to co? no to pojechałem. autobus 145 - żółta nitka skytrain - aUtobus 22 i jestem na sherbrooke street gdzie mieszka piotr lutyński (jak tylko jest w vancouver) wraz z rodziną.

dom piotra jest stary, ale magiczny. cały drewniany. w domu paliły się świece. pełno było obrazów i atmosfera była trochę tak jak u witkacego w zakopanem. słowo. nawet piotr kupił na jednej ze swoich niezliczonych podróży w argentynie orginał obrazu witkacego...

pogadaliśmy. pojedliśmy. pokawowaliśmy. było przepmile. i tak sobie myślę, że tylko dla tych nieprawdopodobnie zwyczajnych albo zwyczajnie nieprawdopodobnych chwil i znajomości warto oddychać.

the illusion of saturated fats

"if anybody tells you that you can't make a change to this world, tell them that they are full of shit. because they are."

roman onufrijchuk

now probably you wonder who roman onufrijchuk is. try google or wikipedia. but i am not quite sure you'll find him there, cause he ain't a celebrity. roman is my communications professor. incredibly outspoken and eloquent. probably the most outspoken and eloquent of all my professors here. no wonder for his roots are back in eastern europe.

i am actually collecting his quotes but the one above touched me to the deepest and made my neurotransmitters fire like hell. about different issues. but since the context of the quote was abandoning saturated fats in canada (long and a little bit arbitrary story) it made me primarily think of saturated fats.

i assume that through abandoning saturated fats canadians want to fight the syndrome x, the fastest growing disease in north america - obesity.

bravo! but.

but as usually here they don't address the problem. this won't stop canadians growing fat in a terribly fast pace (neurotransmitters fired and thoughts appeared on somewhere on my cerebral cortex).

what they should do instead is abandoning corporate fast food restaurants and office jobs for these are two places where people are simply fed shit. i don't really have to go into mcdonalds issue, but it is worthwhile touching upon 'deskjobs'. people are treated there with chocholate all the time. i mean it, i am experiencing it and it seems (and looks) like a pigpen. the tall and slim secretary is a myth! but these people eating in fast food places is not...

now i realize they will never ban fast food restaurants or office jobs. why? because these two run their economies and hence they cannot afford it! they prefer keep people up with an illusion of abandoning saturated fats and continue serving shit hamburgers (though perhaps without saturated fats).

and yet again i am asking myself: is this really the continent of the free? is this a really individualistic and literate societies we are talking about? in such conflicts the government has a choice between the state and the individual, the individual still loses. always.

and the only hope that is left now is enclosed in roman's quote: "if anybody tells you that you can't make a change to this world, tell them that they are full of shit. because they are."

ps. excuse me for oversimplifications and generalizations.

orales de español

tommorow i have oral exams in spanish. here is one minute presentation i was supposed to prepared (i dont really know why do i share it on the blog. perhaps i am just a bit proud of it??? :-) ):

voy a hablar sobre venezuela. venezuela es un país tropical situado al norte de américa del sur. su nombre significa "pequeña venecia" porque a los conquistadores las construcciones indígenas recordoban las construcciones de venecia.

la capital de venezuela es caracas, un puerto importante del mar caribe. también es una ciudad de contrastes - el lujo y la pobreza. pero el presidente de venezuela - hugo chávez - trabaja por una cambia.

en venezuela los ritmos de la salsa y del joropo son muy populares. la salsa es famosa en todo el mundo. pero el libro no tiene razón cuando dice "nueva york y miami son los principales centros de la salsa". es una perspectiva parcializada y muy, muy norteamericana. el verdadero centro de la salsa, su corazón es cuba, repúbilca dominicana y puerto rico.

cave-man's wise words

couple of days ago laszlo wrote (bolds are mine):

things that bother me:

that all the people around me are so "proper". conformists. one can trace their parents' (teachers, media, hypocritic politicians/bigot priests, you name it) teachings, "values" (hahaha, values!; like "valuing freedom of the individual", right, mr nstitutionalizedly ignorant?) directly in all their actions; as their thoughts
sheepishly follow the politically correct, sterile, estranged frame of mind of
their predecessors. one of the foremost aims in life, or at least in education,
of practically all my friends so far has been "not to live like my parents". to
change things. because we believe that things might turn out better if changed.
or at least it is worth trying. such thoughts, that there might be other bases
of establishing, of organising one's and his environment's existence than those
on which his upbringing had been rooted do not even occur to uchicago students.
they don't want to live differently than their parents did; they just want to
make more money. [...] and I once thought that people in their adolescence
bear a natural, unconstrainable inclination toward the avant-garde, the
rebellious, the free. silly, silly me. hence the realm of their conversations
hover around tv-shows, movies, series, bits of academics, music bands, food
(they can go into fights almost over which place serves the best fast food; i mean, get a fucking life!), and small, ordinary stories which are considered
entertaining (the fact which they each time feel compelled to assert explicitly
by saying, "that's funny"; the kindergarden is baaack; fukuf!).

btw, the few "non-conformist hipsters and alternatives" tend to be just full of shit concealed in large glasses and 70's clothes.

i just wonder if this is some sort of mental disease of mine or just a 'post-uwc' syndrome of disappointment with disenchanted, cruel and real world. the world out of the bubble. with real, 'normal' people... or are they normal?

don't really have to add much more. i think similarly. i feel similarly. after all: "polak, węgier, dwa bratanki, i do szabli, i do szklanki". or "lengyel, magyar, két jó barát, együtt harcol, s issza borát", no?

the cat empire in commodore ballroom

"music is the language of us all"



recognize?



yes. the cat empire. an australian band i had never had chance to hear before i came to canada. well, that is probably only because you did not have an australian co-year. never heard of them either? i think you should. i send you to the source then to make you more knowledgeable. yes, it is wiki. whateva.

anyhow, yesterday we went to their concert. tickets were sort of expensive, but. but we said fuck that. and i am happy we did, cause it was one of the best live shows i have seen in my life. the venue in words of peter's brother "not too big, not too small. just in the size of montreal" was really like that. just perfect. crowdy, but very personal at the same time. we were just by the stage...

the support was already good, you know what is a good sign, cause they usually make the support crap to give a contrast to the actual concert. the australians came on the stage around 22:30 and stayed there for like 2 hours on high positive energy. what these six guys do is just the higher art. i swear. making such music, combining styles, generes and instruments one has to be so bloody talented and devoted. and again, one should recognize the quality of the music only by the quality of concert recordings. these guys were simply stunning.

for further reference:

http://www.thecatempire.com/

ps. yes, people were smoking up in the crowd. :-)

la historia del niño

cada día el niño volve atras a casa después su viaje. está joven noche. la noche hermosa. porque sus padres están durmiendo, él cerre la puerta en un silencio perfecto.

en la cocina, él niño bebe yerba maté y piensa sobre todos países ya es visita. ¡qué lindo memorias! tiempo del chistes juntos con sus amigos grandes de todo el mundo...

¿es esta casa hogar de él? ¿es algo lugar su hogar? ¿dulce hogar? no sabe. nadie sabe.

- ¿hay magia aquí? - piensa el niño. con estos pensamientos el niño dorimirse en la cocina.

su sueños son multicolor.

three cardinal rules

(1) i do not drink alcohol out of plastic.

although, believe me, everyone around me does so. i prefer not to drink at all to drink from a plastic cup. yak!

(2) i do not eat hamburgers.

unless mariam makes homemade ones. ;-)

(3) i do not smoke cigarettes.

unless i roll them myself!!!

drinking with derek...

yeah, i am drinking with my seconnd-year, derek. we have finished a bottle of russian vodka stolichnayas.

then we went to bc liquor store and we bought two more bottles of polish luksusowa. ever drunk that?

then my mother called me.

we listened to pink floyd and bjork and discussed ambitious issues as i would never be able to discuss with a canadian.

i don't really feel part of this society, but i will still try to fit somewhere in.

bjork. dancer in the dark.

oh my god!

i miss the challenge of the mind. everything here is so linear, so common, so canadian, so northamerican. i miss the challenge of the mind.

vancouver - manchester; manchester - vancouver

despite the time zone differences finally i had a longer chat with bakkerud. you know, just like one of these chats we had during interrail or during violating certain policies here and there. one of these small talks about everything and nothing at all. i just think it gives a pretty good overview of how do we, the uwciers, percieve the world after leaving the bubble. oh, and if you wondered about the plagiarism thing, i have bought the copy rights from bakkerud for a pint of beer. i shall pay immediately next time we meet.

andreas says:
hey
grzesiek says:
bakkerud! what is up in the land of queen elisabeth II?
andreas says:
yo! it's really cool here. watched man utd - fc copenhagen last night! fucking awsome!
grzesiek says:
but you lost, eh?
andreas says:
yeah, but the atmosphere with 72000 people was too good to spoil that!
how are you doing up there?
grzesiek says:
i am all right. hanging out mostly with internationals. you get some impression of a border between you and the north americans.
andreas says:
yeah, same actually... almost only international friends. don't know what's going on witht the brits.
grzesiek says:
haha, we've got to meet up
andreas says:
yeah, do you think you can drop by here when you go home for christmas?
grzesiek says:
i am not going home for xmas. i am staying here with other uwciers. mostly because it is not even 3 weeks, and it would be physically tiring to change time zones twice within this short period of time.
andreas says:
ah, ok. they advertise with manchester - toronto for 148 pound. really thought about going to vancouver. got a really good friend from netherlands/israel, who wants to go to toronto, so might go wit him.
[...]
grzesiek says:
and the buddha in bc is so so popular. they are as chilled about it here as the dutch in amsterdam.
andreas says:
haha! wicked. so easier and cheaper than alcohol?
grzesiek says:
comparing to norway - yes! but about the alcohol thing. the stores are still state-owned monopolies... and you have to have two picture IDs with you to prove you are 19. i am not even asking how is it in the uk... :-)
andreas says:
haha. nah, it is not cheap here. i haven't really been out clubbing or drinking yet. mainly hanging out with friends - cinema, football and so on. actually started getting used to big city life. you have to be much more independent and responsible on your own life. but also gives you so many oppurtunities.
grzesiek says:
precisely.
andreas says:
and you are not limited to the bathroom any more...
grzesiek says:
haha! but i kind of liked the bathroom. it was warm.
[...]
grzesiek says:
but i was actually thinking of dropping by manchaster on my way home in april.
andreas says:
yeah, that would be cool.
grzesiek says:
once i get to london is it cheaper to fly or to go by train down to manchaster?
andreas says:
train definately. can get it for 10 pound and takes 2 hours.
grzesiek says:
awesome.
andreas says:
or maybe bus, takes longer, but only cost 2-3 pound if you book before. maybe you could fly from here to poland. think jet2 has really low price to krakow.
grzesiek says:
maybe, but i would rather go on my way back.
andreas says:
yeah, ok.
[...]
andreas says:
i'm going to flekke tomorrow.
grzesiek says:
what!!?? i hate you for being back in europe!
ąndreas says:
no kidding. flying after lectures, going to copenhagen on monday and cambridge to visit claudia on wednesday.
[...]
grzesiek says:
give a huge hug from me to claudia, though
andreas says:
i will. it's gonna be fun to see cambridge as well. hope to go follow a lecture. imagine that ali g studied there.
grzesiek says:
yah! for real.
[...]
grzesiek says:
are you studying like hell, though? i hope you still have time to chill?
andreas says:
i've studied less than 10 hours since i came. i cant describe how chilled my course is.
grzesiek says:
cause i was out clubbing only twice, and i thought i would be out every fucking day. but, i mean it's not the studying that keeps me here, on campus. there are just more interesting things to do than clubbing...
andreas says:
ok, that is still more clubbing than i've had. i'm going quite much to the gym and pool and cooking with friends, exploring the city...
grzesiek says:
awesome. i am getting so fat here on their foods. though i haven't eaten a hamburger since i came.
andreas says:
haha. where the flekke trot spirit?
grzesiek says:
the only thing i do is playing football. no one care and knows how to play this game here, so i play mostly with internationals (again).
andreas says:
that's cool. i started football as well. i play in manchester city's academy.
grzesiek says:
fuck off. (no offence, please)
[...]
andreas says:
there is another uwc student at my exact course! she's from adriatic, milda's co-year. she got fucking 44 points in the ib.
grzesiek says:
and went to manchester!? hahaha!
andreas says:
yeah, fuck off. hahaha! there are so many oxbridge applicants here.
grzesiek says:
i have laszlo's coyear here who scored a lot too.
[...]
grzesiek says:
but how weird is that: we are stuck to the uwciers for the rest of our lives...
andreas says:
from nordic or uwc'ers in general?
grzesiek says:
both, i think. here there is so many of them. like at least 50. apparently, in north amercia only mcalester beats us.
andreas says:
wow. but it is really true. we are stuck with the uwc thing...
grzesiek says:
some completely cut off from it here, though and others just don't go beyond these people, you know.
andreas says:
when i found out that the girl on my course was from adriatic, it suddely felt like i had known her for years. she had heard about matute, for instance. and you? do you stick with uwc?
grzesiek says:
oh, i have friends in and out of the circle. but: if you wanna have a good conversation, you just have to come back to the source.
andreas says:
yeap. uwc makes the world so so small.
grzesiek says:
yeap.
andreas says:
yeap. it's really weird though, as i said, i almost only hang out with int students here, where most of them took the ib. the british seem so boring and plain. quite immature sometimes.
grzesiek says:
exactly. same here. and most of the canadians or americans go to the uni when they are 17!! and i am approaching 20... so if you sum up the age difference with so called "cultural differences" you get quite a gap between me and them...
andreas says:
yeah, same here. brits are a year younger. i think we have more in common with other internationals.
grzesiek says:
bingo. sometimes i think that our nationality is internationality now.
andreas says:
haha, but that is true. i have to get used to be an immigrant myself. i keep going around referring to arabs as immigrants. and friends here always correct me.
grzesiek says:
for du er fucking perkere!
andreas says:
haha. good times, ah?
grzesiek says:
good times.
[...]
andreas says:
another thing. uni of manchester has exchange programme with uni of toronto. so... might be 6 months in canada after the summer.
grzesiek says:
cool. i cant tell you anything about toronto, though.
andreas says:
they also have to melbourne, australia. so i will see.
grzesiek says:
well sfu has exchange programs all over the place, including lots of unis in uk. you could even go to fiji if you were desperate enough.
andreas says:
haha.
grzesiek says:
i am quite serious with fiji.
andreas says:
that you would go there??
grzesiek says:
no! i just thought there was no universities on fiji. you see, even though i am this open-minded and graduated from uwc my vision of the world is still pretty stereotypical and perhaps distorted.
andreas says:
yeah. would probably be a weed uni.
[...]
andreas says:
i'll pack a bit now and then go to bed (1 am here). but ill check out possibility for canada in easter, and inform about my plans that month....
grzesiek says:
right. trot and skål for me. hope there is no rain and fiskekakke.

me gusta...

¡saludos a todos!

este semestre tomo psicología, filosofía, comunicaciónes y también español. mi amigo de venezuela, jesús, llama mi español: "casi perfecto". sí, es verdad. mi abición es muy grande. deseo viajar por países de américa latina, por eso necesito hablar el español. ¿hablan inglés o polacco en esos países? ¡no!

en mi clase nosotros estudiamos vocabulario nuevo y estructuras grámaticas cada día. mi profesora es de méxico y es muy simpática. pregunta todo el tiempo: ¿algunas dudas? o ¿recuerdan ustedes? o ¿por qué no entienden? me gustan mis clases y este idioma mucho. ¡en serio!

nos vemos a proxima posta...

swedish dinner

ha, as a pure norwegian and a friend of henrik i was kindly invited to swedish dinner the other weekend. it kicked ass! we ate lots swedish food and skåled twice as much. the fun we had was a function of both. just check out the pictures!

eating part... posh? nah. swedish...

skåling in the swedish ponder. doesn't the guy in the middle look like erik from åland?

tell me, where else could this guy be from? nothing but sweden!

i have found yet another eastern european on campus! here is the slovak girl called just like my grandmother - łucja.

getting frenzy. about 4:30am.

"pokój i ręce przenikają się nawzajem"

poland: 2, portugal: 1

it was only two days ago when i read in the polish news that portuguese striker nuño gomes, literally laughed out polish national team. i thought: probably he is right, we rather suck. i haven't seen the recent games under beenhaker, but losing home to finland 1-3 and hardly winning over kazakhstan says that we are not exactly on the peak of our abilities.

today, however the things turned. nuño gomes scored his goal in 92nd minute of the game, but it was too late for portugal loosing 2-1 at the venue in chorzów. two goals by always magnificent euzebiusz smolarek dealt with the whole game.

my mother called me at 11:00am here to announce we were winning 2-0 after the first half. that has definetely set me day. definetely. in these situations i really become patriotic somewhat. weird. anyhow:

"polska, biało-czerwoni, polskaaaa biało-czerwoni..."

oh, and one more thing. who was this guy wearing a jearsey with number 17. cristiano ronaldo? who is that?

jesienne haiku zza oceanu

żół-kną im klo-ny
na drze-wach i fla-gach
nad-cho-dzi je-sień

the van gogh story

one more thing that is noteworthy these days.

on the "poster days" at sfu, around two weeks ago, i bought this massive poster of van gogh's cafe terrace at night.

if you don't exactly recall it, there is a picture of it on your right-hand side. by the way, did you know that this picture will be projected in your brain's left hemisphere?

generally people looked at me as though i was a weirdo - i bought posters of paintings by van gogh, picasso and dali. well, reffering to these people i did not buy any 'cool' posters.

but back to the story. couple of days after i had bought that poster and stuck it up my concrete wall, i got a postcard from maria lisiakova who is a twin of mine. guess what was on it? yes, van gogh's cafe terrace at night. no kidding.

it said: "sending you a bit of classic, a bit of europe". funny? perhaps. coincidence? nah, definetely, not. it is either genetics, as my mum infered laughing her ass off or, as i assume, the longing to the real cafe terrace at night in a small european town...

the room b2053 - a month later

having pondered a little bit about my current situation i start regarding the cave of the room number b2053 as 'home'. those who have gone thru' uwc experience probably understand why do i put home in the quotation marks. but that is a different matter. here, i mean that after classes or after run i go back there automatically and i feel comfortable and relatively happy in there. see, i even managed to do something to the concrete wall...

i mean it. notice i have tones of pictures on right beside my head, couple of posters (including original poster of flekke trot and infinite dreams). i also hanged the polish scarf and emptied several bottles... so it goes (paraphrasing the pacifist).

the rest stays pretty much the same, except the mess increased. anyhow, i am probably the cleanest person on the residence. only my mother would not agree with this statement. however she has no point of relation except her own pedancy... she should have seen moonga or nueng back in nh103. that was mess! i still smile to these good old times. they say that when one starts recalling "the good old times" one seriously starts getting old. terrible, indeed.

wszystkiego najlepszego mamusiu kochana!

mamo piszę do ciebie wiersz…

ale tak naprawdę to trochę tak jakbyś ten wiersz pisała sama do siebie. no bo któż inny nauczył mnie czytać i pisać i poezjować? któż inny nauczył mnie odbierać świat i ludzi z tak wielką dozą ciepła i wrażliwości? któż mamo jak nie ty?

bez ciebie, mamo kochana, nie byłoby mnie – dosłownie i w przenośni – takiego jaki teraz jestem. każde twoje urodziny to nie tylko szansa żeby życzyć ci dwustu i trzystu lat, ale przede wszystkim, żeby wyrazić dwa najważniejsze słowa: dziękuję i kocham. nie, powinno być: DZIĘKUJĘ i KOCHAM.

pisząc te słowa u mnie w burnaby cały czas mamy trzeciego października, ale ja wiem, że kraina nad wisłą zaczęła już obchodzić twoje urodziny… niech ci się wyśnią same dobre rzeczy dzisiejszej nocy. tymczasem ja ślę ci tony pozytywnej energii i zmykam do nauki, jutro mam egzamin semestralny z filozofii!

a, i po południu zaglądnij do skrzynki na listy, powinnaś znaleźć tam małą niespodziankę z kanadyjskim stemplem.

jeszcze raz wszystkiego najlepszego i do usłyszenia –

g.